A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said: “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.”

“What do you mean?” said the pirate, “I feel fine.”

“What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before,” the bartender said.

The pirate said, “Well, we were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball. I lost my leg so I got this wooden leg, but I’m fine now.”

The bartender replied, “Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?”

The pirate explained, “We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I’m fine, really.”

“What about that eye patch?”

“Oh,” said the pirate, “One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them ?pooped in my eye.”

“You’re kidding,” said the bartender. “Can you lose an eye just from bird poop??”

“It was my first day with the hook.”

— Jeff Carlson,

Coeur d’Alene

•••

Thanks for all your jokes! Keep sending them.

Laughter really is the best medicine, so let’s “medicate” together.

Send your best bad, corny, punny jokes. Keep ‘em clean and don’t be mean.

Email your ghastly groaners, with your full name and hometown, to: mdolan@cdapress.com.