If you’d like to suggest something interesting to do this Sunday...

Hey, I’ll be free.

And no, please don’t bother mentioning a Super Bowl party.

Like most of America, I just can’t stomach watching the Patriots win another one. They’ve been on stage too damn long, they cheat whenever possible and, most of all, Bill Belichick is their prison guard.

We’ll get back to laugh-a-minute Bill in a sec, but there’s also quarterback Tom Brady, who wants you to believe he’s just the guy next door – but orders footballs deflated, uses Sanskrit sayings in interviews, marries a supermodel and lives in a modest 14,000-square-foot fortress that abuts the oldest (and perhaps snootiest) country club in America.

Fact: Brady and I were born in the same hospital.

Just a year apart, I think.

OK, I’m kidding about the age thing, but it seems like Tom Terrific has been around forever. Brady and the Pats have been the longest-running show in the history of prime-time TV.

The guy is only 40, but it feels like he was a New England legend at the same time as Paul Revere.

Haven’t we seen enough?

RIGHT, back to Belichick.

If the Pats win as expected on Sunday, Bill will stand alone with five Super Bowl victories.

We know the guy will do anything to win – he was fined $500,000, the largest individual whack in NFL history, for his role in the “Spygate” fiasco.

Belichick admitted that he was responsible for that video guy shooting the Jets’ defensive signal calls, but said it was just a misunderstanding of league rules.

You know, the most amazing tidbits turn up on Wikipedia, and I just love this one...

“A 2008 South Park episode deals with fallout from the 2007 National Football League videotaping controversy. As the character Eric Cartman is coaching inner-city children to cheat on achievement tests, several students raise objections to his morally questionable methods.

“Cartman twice raises a photo of Belichick and states that the Patriots coach got caught red-handed, and nobody cared. The lesson for Cartman’s students was that America doesn’t mind a cheater, as long as he cheats his way to the top.

“In case the students are caught cheating, Cartman instructs them to practice repeating the Belichick defense: ‘I misinterpreted the rules.’”

Kind of sums up lovable Bill, doesn’t it?

HERE’S a question that should be asked during Sunday’s telecast, but you definitely won’t hear it: Is Belichick really anything special?

He coached the Browns for five years, went 36-44 and made the playoffs just once.

He’s had a fantastic 17-year run in New England, sure enough (14 division titles, seven Super Bowl appearances when you count this week), but let’s check on Tom Brady’s history.

Ah, yes, he turned up in Foxborough exactly the same year as Belichick.

I promise you there are a lot of NFL coaches – and plenty that have been fired – who believe they’d be fitted for Hall of Fame blazers if they had Brady around for a couple of decades.

Let’s end on a quirky note and then I can forget this Super Bowl entirely.

Other than Brady, the one guy who’s truly helped Belichick build his legend is Seahawks boss Pete Carroll.

First off, Pete had the misfortune of being fired as Patriots coach after the 1999 season, opening the door for Belichick to turn up in New England.

And of course, Belichick has one more Super Bowl win than he deserves (and his only title since 2004) because of that infamous moment when Carroll forgot that Marshawn Lynch was in the building.

Sorry to bring that up.

Let’s get on with basketball and hockey.

Steve Cameron is a special assignment reporter for The Press, and has covered sports at all levels for more than three decades. Reach Steve at scameron@cdapress.com.