MOSES LAKE — There’s no real understanding of what’s expected or how to deal with it. There’s just the raw emotions and the knowledge that a brother, a friend, a young man has left this world all too young.

The fact that it was self-inflicted adds to the emotional turmoil. What to say, what not to say, like a distant storm, brewing on the horizon. Moses Lake senior Thomas Hamm is gone. He left us one day before his 17th birthday.

Where his parents and grandparents would have burned the telephone line with calls to friends and family, Thomas’ generation took to Twitter Sunday night and began the healing process with words of kindness, shock and love for a guy that touched the lives of many.

For the wrestling community, it was another hit. Last summer Clayton Clark, 18, died in a car accident. And now, Hamm, who wrestled at 120 pounds, another fallen brother in the family that is Moses Lake wrestling. When you come from a working-class community, salt-of-the-earth people, you do what’s right, even when you’re not sure what that is.

Chiefs coach Jaime Garza called his guys together Monday night. Moses Lake wrestling has been a strong program for decades. They learn from a very young age what it is to bond in a way people outside the room don’t often understand. They know the blood, sweat and tears that the sport demands.

They know the work, the heart, the soul that goes into the heart of a champion. They pick each other up. They support each other in ways those on the outside of the circle might not understand. Like the military men and women who have faced the heat of battle defending this country, they take on the challenges head on.

But Monday night, leaders who are looked to for answers, didn’t have any. They were just as shocked as the rest, heartbroken, their thoughts pinging around like a Super Ball in a small room.

Where does the healing start?

It started that night with 30 guys standing around looking at each other, each with their private thoughts and emotions. No one had to say anything. When you’re family you come together as one, especially in times like this.

“It’s horrible. Coach did a good job keeping us together as a team, like you guys are family. We have to help each other through it,” team captain and state champion Hunter Cruz said. “There’s no right way to handle it. It’s always going to catch you off-guard. As a team leader, I definitely feel I can show my emotions and try to take care of the others too. It’s not just wrestlers; some of my friends are taking it really tough. You have to stay strong for them and stay strong for his family.”

It’s a lot of pressure for a 17-year-old to take on, staying strong while your heart is breaking, but that’s the way it is when you grow up here in the Columbia Basin.

In his book, Gale Sayers wrote, “The Lord is first, my friends are second and I am third.”

That feeling of family and friends taking care of each other first goes a long way when the answers are few and the questions are many.

The healing process was set in motion Monday night when they gathered. Their thoughts are private and they will keep that grieving process to themselves.

“Right now, it’s how do we move forward as a team?” Garza said. “Encouraging one another, not just in the wrestling room, but in the hallways and everything we do. With athletics, there’s always these walls and we need to help each to get over that wall and move to the next obstacle.

“It might not be a coach that gives that motivation; some kids react differently. A senior on the team might be able to help that freshman, that sophomore, that junior with the inspiration needed to overcome. That’s what we can learn from this, because Thomas was instilled with a lot of those good characteristics. That’s what I’d like guys to take forward from this: help the next kid believe in himself.”

Being a Chief means something. It’s about wrestling with honor, integrity and pride. They take care of their own. Hamm gone, but not forgotten.

“Thomas was one of the most unselfish people I’ve ever met,” Cruz said. “It’s going to take time, but we’re dealing with it better. I never want to forget it. We can learn from it, who knows maybe it will end up saving someone else’s life.”

That feeling of support carried over into the community Wednesday night. Michael’s Bistro on Broadway dedicated its tips to the Hamm family. The sign on the tips jar read, ‘Thomas was a beloved employee, who will be greatly missed by his Bistro family. His heartwarming smile and tender spirit thrive through the hearts of many.’”

The Moses Lake community, like the Chiefs wrestling program, began the healing process Wednesday night with a walk, a vigil of sorts, to help support the Hamm family in their grief and come together. Because that’s what they do here in the Columbia Basin: stand together as one.

Rodney Harwood is sports writer for the Columbia Basin Herald and can be reached at rharwood@columbiabasin.com.