Relax, slow down, and enjoy the holiday season and learn some new tools for the rest of the year, too. When stress is at its peak, it is hard to bring it down; try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past. Start now and relax later. Here are 40 ways to try to get ahead of it:

1. No Expectations – No Disappointments: Ditch the great expectations: The biggest stress is expectations—those that others have of us and those we impose upon ourselves. We focus on buying more presents, baking more cookies, going to more concerts or parties. Our schedules fill up and our pocketbooks are empty. Expectations of how the holidays should be may keep us from enjoying a period of simpler, more meaningful joys.

2. Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you have suffered loss or trauma this year and this is a first Christmas since that loss,

realize that it is normal to feel sadness and grief. It is OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it is the holiday season.

3. Create new traditions. To replace ones that trigger sadness. Sometimes changing traditions can help. If you always opened presents on Christmas Eve, change to Christmas morning. Keep traditions that promote happiness.

4. Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.

5. Check the calendar now. Plan for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years’.

Discuss how, when, and where celebrations will take place.

6. Start planning early and stay organized. You reduce stress because you lay out a timetable and don’t get caught in the feeling of being rushed to fit things in at the last minute. Plan your menus and make your shopping list. Line up help for preparations and clean-up. Keep Christmas music on hand and eggnog, cookies, or banana bread on hand for guests.

7. A Thankful Thanksgiving dinner. Take time to go around the table for each person to list what they are thankful for.

8. Decorate gradually. Consider how much time you have realistically and set up a brief schedule for doing it.

9. Cook ahead. Weeks ahead, create a list of food specialties you enjoy making, choosing those that can be baked or cooked and frozen in advance.

10. Determine who will help. We don’t have to do it all and we don’t have to do it

alone. Enlist others, set priorities, and simplify.

11. Think about what worked for previous holidays. What were your best

memories and why? What traditions and events were the most draining or

stress-producing? Make changes to lessen stress this year. Propose and

negotiate changes with family and friends now, before schedules are set.

12. Be realistic. The holidays don’t have to be perfect or just like last year. As

families change and grow traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a

few to hold on to and be open to creating new ones. If your adult children can’t

come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together: on a different day,

through SKYPE, sharing pictures. A moment of ‘self-talk’ helps us turn off the

spigot of negative thoughts telling us we aren’t doing enough. It is a time to

laugh, to join with loved ones, and share memories.

13. Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no, can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. People will understand if you can’t participate in everything.

14. Find your family comfort zone. If family events tend to be stressful, you may

want to make alternate plans and then graciously decline the family gathering.

If you feel compelled to attend, line up friends or other family to support you.

If your family is not happy together the rest of the year, what magic will make

that happen just because it is a holiday season?

15. Avoid stressful long-distance visits. If taking a long trip over the holidays

adds stress, consider delaying the visit to a less hectic time of year.

16. Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are,

even if they don’t live up to your expectations. Set aside grievances until a

more appropriate time. Be understanding, if others get upset or distressed when

something goes wrong.

17. Limit the events you attend. You aren’t obligated to accept every invitation

you receive or go to every holiday-related event in town. Think about what you

will really enjoy and graciously decline the rest. Especially work-related or ones

you know will be stressful.

18. Make entertaining easy. Limit how many people you invite and if guests ask

what they can bring, assign the dishes that must be prepared fresh, such as

salad. Know that it is the community of sharing that is most important.

19. Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much

money you can afford to spend. You can’t buy happiness with an avalanche of

gifts. If you need to curb the spending, you can talk with family or friends in

advance and reach agreement. You could start a family gift exchange, give

homemade gifts, write a memory of the person, give pictures, or a personal item.

You can avoid crowded stores by shopping early. If you order on-line, it could

be cheaper and more convenient.

20. Wrap and label gifts. If you have shopped early, you can also wrap your gifts

early. Stash them in a closet and check off your list.

21. Address cards in advance. If you enjoy sending Christmas cards or letters,

prepare them weeks ahead, you can mail them whenever you want.

22. Don’t abandon healthy habits. Don’t let the holidays become a free-for-all.

Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before

you go to a party, get plenty of sleep, incorporate regular physical activity each day. As

little as 30 minutes of moderate activity at least 5 days a week, help you stay healthy

and de-stressed. A brisk daily walk or bike ride may keep your stress in check.

23. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes

alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything. Find

something that reduces your stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing, and

restoring inner calm. Take a walk in the sunlight, take a walk at night and look at the

stars, get a massage, read a book, smell citrus,

24. Listen to soothing music. Classical music, Christmas music, calming music.

research shows that listening to music can crank down stress hormones, lower

blood pressure and heart rate and reduce anxiety.

25. Be a uni-tasker. Even if you are a veteran multi-tasker, taking on too much at

once can make you feel frenzied over time. Mindfulness is a very calming

practice. When you are making cookies or decorating the tree, focus on the

task at hand (what it feels, smells, sounds, tastes, or looks like). You can

mentally recharge yourself. Try it for a week, you may feel less anxious, with

fewer headaches, and be more productive.

26. Make a Frosty the Snowman or Snow Angel. Maybe you haven’t done that

for years, but it will produce some endorphins, which are ‘happy’ chemicals in

brain. You will come back inside with a different mindset. Have some fun!

27. Volunteer to help out. Sometimes it can relieve your stress to help someone

else. Consider assisting at a hospital, food pantry, or shelter. Doing something

for someone else, puts the mad rush of the holidays in perspective.

28. Slow down. Become aware of how fast you do everything: how fast you move

or even talk, then focus on slowing down your pace. You miss a lot when you

rush through life. When you consciously choose to slow down your physical

movement, your brain sends a signal to your entire body to slow down. This

total sense of calm is one of the benefits of Yoga and meditation as opposed to

the endorphin rush you experience in a brisk cardio workout.

29. Don’t forget the reason for the season. Take time to sit down, talk about the birth of

the Christ child, His meaning in our life. It helps ground us to invite the Spirit in your life.

30. Relive wonderful memories from holidays past. Share with loved ones: whether it is

an ornament with special meaning, a certain recipe, or a past eventful episode.

31. Settle down with hot chocolate and a bowl of popcorn to watch old

holiday classics. A Charlie Brown Christmas, How the Grinch Stole

Christmas, Santa Clause is Coming to Town, The Christmas Story.

32. Go for a drive and enjoy the Christmas Lights. It makes the season

Brighter, especially if shared with loved ones.

33. Less is More. Rather than a long list of ‘must-do’s’, think of the season as

‘time treats’ and do as many as you want to. Do what makes you happy.

34. Go Christmas Caroling. Get together with friends or family and go through

the neighborhood, singing Christmas carols. If that doesn’t work, print out

some carols and have your guests join in singing.

35. Press here for peace. Sneak into the bathroom and try this quick

acupressure move, called the ‘Sea of Tranquility’, to send a ‘calm down now’

message to your brain. Fit the small, slightly tender indentation in the center

of your breastbone. With three fingertips, press down gently for two minutes,

then gradually release the pressure. It helps you deepen your breathing,

which relaxes you, and releases tension. It reminds you that you have this

inner calm that you can access at any time.

36. Throw open the curtains. Look out at the natural world, it can lower your

heart rate, even when you have to deal with stress-inducing situations. If you

don’t have a view, even viewing a picture for a visual connection (family, the

wonder of creation, the beauty of this world) can increase peace, calmness,

deepen your spiritual experience and decrease feelings of anger, fear, anxiety.

37. Create your own calm. Decide on one word that describes the holiday

season to you. It could be Peace. Joy, Love, Family, or Serenity. Write it on

an index card and tape it to your bathroom mirror, glance at your guiding

word to remind yourself of your goal. It is a choice to be happy.

38. Do more deep breathing. Inhale slowly through your nose for the count of

four, then exhale (blowing out slowly through your mouth) to a count of eight

is the quickest way to lesson stress and anxiety. It stimulates the para-

sympathetic nervous system, which promotes a state of calmness. It is

your body’s own natural anti-anxiety remedy and really does work magic.

39. Turn off the television, computer, tablets, cell phones and all

electronics. There is a growing and serious public health hazard

acknowledged by both the medical community and technology industry.

The light from the TV and screens interrupts or prevents deep, restorative

sleep and increases agitation, anxiety, depression, and weakens the

immune system. Technology-related stress was correlated with increased

feelings of life dissatisfaction, jealousy, resentment, anger, loss of empathy

with a higher risk and premature death. (studies from 2011 U of Cambridge

Stanford University, and the Journal of the America College of Cardiology.

40. Stay calm down the stretch. In the final few days before the holiday, if

you notice symptoms of stress (headaches, anxiety, or stomach distress),

listen to your body. Eliminate the rest of your to-do list, get 7 – 9 hours of

sleep every night.

Note: These suggestions are taken from the Woman’s Day, Mayo Clinic “Healthy Lifestyle”, Healthy Women, and Meridian as well as personal experiences.