A man says to his wife, “Honey, you’ll never believe this. I can cut a piece of wood just by staring at it.”

“Don’t be silly,” his wife says. “That’s ridiculous.”

The husband says, “It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes.”

•••

Send your groaners to Maureen Dolan, mdolan@cdapress.com. Keep ’em clean, and don’t be mean.