Sam the Clam and Louie the Lobster were playing in their band at the bottom of San Francisco Bay when a tsunami killed them both. Louie had lived a model life and went immediately to heaven. Sam, on the other hand, went the other way.

Louie missed Sam greatly and petitioned to visit him down below. Off Louie went with his harp in hand and joined Sam on trumpet in Sam’s new discotheque.

They were jamming along and having a great time when suddenly, noting that midnight was almost upon him, Louie rushed back to heaven and just made it through the Pearly Gates before they closed.

Suddenly, he cried out in anguish, “Oh no! I left my harp in Sam’s clam disco!”

— Dick Barclay

•••

Laughter really is the best medicine, so let’s “medicate” together.

Send your best bad, corny, punny jokes. Keep ’em clean and don’t be mean.

Email your ghastly groaners, with your full name and hometown, to: mdolan@cdapress.com.