A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. “My life is a mess,” he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I’m as jittery as a cat.”

“Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” suggests the collie.

“I can’t,” says the poodle. “I’m not allowed on the couch.”

­­­— L. B. Weinstein

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Send your groaners to Maureen Dolan, mdolan@cdapress.com.

Remember: Keep ’em clean and don’t be mean. Thanks!