By DEVIN WEEKS

For Coeur Voice

All I have to say is — WOW.

“The Gift That Gives Back” Peloton commercial is really a gift of insanity that keeps on giving.

After my first viewing, I rolled my eyes at the thought of a perfectly fit, gorgeous woman given an exercise bike for Christmas. That’s almost like saying, “Merry Christmas honey, I got you a new toilet scrubber.”

That husband had better have a vacation to Cancun planned for her birthday. And a fancy necklace. And a kitten. And a year-long list of chores that he plans to complete without having to be nagged.

What I’m referencing is an advertisement released in November that sparked an internet firestorm of responses I’ve become obsessive about reading… almost as obsessive as the actress in the video is about that damned Peloton.

The woman is surprised by her husband on Christmas morning with this pricey stationary bike, which has a touchscreen for live classes (it costs more than $2,000, plus a monthly fee for the on-demand and interactive service). Sidenote: the husband is in this 30-second commercial for like two seconds, but manages to come off as either uncaring or oblivious.

So then, this beautiful, already-extremely thin woman descends into madness as she begins a series of vlogs with a perplexingly nerve-addled first video, and continues to video herself using the bike throughout a year-long fitness expedition in her very comfortable, upper-middle-class living room. She races home from work, wakes up at 6 a.m. and seems to forget about everything else. The world around her slips away and the seasons pass in seconds.

All for this bike. That literally goes nowhere.

In the conclusion, she cozies up on the couch with her husband on Christmas morning after that year of Peloton insanity and together they watch a video of the videos she made of her workouts.

Let me say that again. The husband *willingly* sits on the couch to watch a video diary montage of videos of his wife working out, when he probably saw her working out all the time because they live together.

“I didn’t realize how much this would change me. Thank you,” she lovingly says into the camera at the end (?!).

For all the work she did? And what changed? She’s just as gorgeous as she was in the beginning of the video. And her eyes implore for his approval. He’s not even paying attention!

I was delighted to see the internet responses agreed with my head-scratching and forehead-palming. The responses have been deliciously cynical, some calling this commercial a preview for the next season of “Black Mirror,” while others commented how this ad continues to push the archaic notion that women should be consumed by image and never be happy with themselves.

“Look I don’t want to be ‘The Peloton Ad Guy’ anymore but the newest commercial about the vlogging 116-lb woman’s YEARLONG fitness journey to becoming a 112-lb woman who says “I didn’t realize how much this would change me” is just ri-god-damn-diculous. Come on,” tweeted Twitter user @ClueHeywood, who created a series of hilarious riffs on the excessively upscale settings of a Peloton ad from earlier this year.

“You video’d yourself talking about peloton-ing before peloton-ing, during your peloton-ing, & more of yourself talking about your peloton-ing after you pelotoned, compiled it all into a long video about yourself & your peloton & forced your spouse to watch your peloton-ing video?” tweeted @HammsLager.

“Wow. A woman with cyclophobia goes from great physical condition to great physical condition in just one year. Amazing. Where do I sign up to buy a $2000 spin bike?” tweeted @LeftDial.

This ad generated thousands of responses, from the sarcastic and fun-poking to the more serious, including theories of spousal abuse, compulsive behavior and other deep-seated issues.

“Absolutely 100% chance that the husband in the Peloton ad is abusive,” tweeted @allahpundit.

“WON’T SOMEBODY HEED THE CRY FOR HELP FROM THE POOR WOMAN TRAPPED IN THE PELOTON CHRISTMAS AD,” tweeted @juliakite.

“This Peloton ad is nightmare fuel. This is a bad relationship. Blink twice if you’re not OK and tell us how we can help,” tweeted @shanselman.

This has caused such an outcry that the company’s stocks have been damaged and big news outlets picked up on the controversy. Comments on the YouTube video of the ad have been blocked and are no longer available to view. (I wonder why ...)

While this whole conversation has been entertaining, it sends a much bigger (and unexpected) message that people are paying attention much more than in the past, so this type of commercial backfires when its creators are asleep at the wheel. Maybe have more common folk preview and tweak your work before you launch it into the world. That way those of us down here on earth don’t have to be subjected to this ridiculousness.

Oh, look at that! The fortune cookie from my scrumptious lunch today has the perfect message for all of this: “Reward yourself with a much-deserved gift.”

You know what? I think I will.

But it sure won’t be a Peloton.