PRESS PIGSKIN PROGNOSTICATORS

The rotund lady hasn’t even warmed up yet

By MIKE PATRICK

PPP Commissioner

If you thought your living room floor yesterday was a mess, check this out.

With one week left in the regular season, most of your All-Star Press Pigskin Prognosticators have a shot at winning incredibly valuable advertising packages for their chosen local nonprofits.

It’s a mad scramble to the finish line, ladies and gentlemen. And to hear the prognosticators whining and pounding chests and, in the case of one Michael Kennedy, conjuring up a ridiculous spreadsheet designed to show he deserves first prize for St. Vincent de Paul, you’d think the last few seconds of the season were about to expire.

Not so.

As The League made implicitly clear last summer when this 11-person blitz to do good in the community began, the competition continues all the way through the Super Bowl. So the standings that readers see inside today’s Sports section are far from finalized. Play on, prognosticators, we pray, play on! (Hey, that’s got the making of a fight song ...)

Before Bears fans throughout the galaxy endure one more groin kick for their team drafting a stiff named Trubisky over the greatest QB of all time (to hear Chiefs fans tell it), The League wishes to hand off a couple of awards.

GUTTY PICK AWARD: Last week, Post Falls top cop Pat Knight was the lone prognosticator to pick the pathetic Arizona Cardinals over the darn-near invincible Seattle Seahawks. While Knight earned bountious praise for his pigskin pickin’ prowess, rumor has it he wasn’t the most popular guy at the office Monday.

THANKS FOR PLAYING AWARD: This one goes to perhaps the kindest and gentlest of the rowdy PPP crowd, Anne Hagman. Sweet Anne alone picked Detroit to beat the Broncos. Had she done her homework and realized that the Lions are even worse than the Bears, Anne no doubt would take that pick back faster than you can say “Mitch Trubisky.”

Then again, if indeed she finishes last, Anne would win the consolation prize of a quarter-page ad for Heritage Health. So maybe she really is smarter than the average Bear.

PPP STANDINGS

Player/Nonprofit/Record

1. Steve Cameron/Community Library Network/156-84-1

2. Mike Randles/Children’s Village/155-85-1

3. Lee White/Safe Passage/153-87-1

3. (tie) Suzanna Spencer/Post Falls Food Bank/153-87-1

5. BobbieJo Vroom/North Idaho STEM Charter/148-92-1

5. (tie) Pat Knight/Newby-ginnings/148-92-1

7. Jared Staples/Open Arms Real Choices Clinic/147-93-1

8. Mike Kennedy/St. Vincent de Paul/146-94-1

8. (tie) Jim Winger/Jeff Hinz Fund/146-94-1

10. Jim Hightower/Tesh, Inc./144-96-1

11. Anne Hagman/Heritage Health/140-100-1