One Saturday afternoon, Fred hears a very light knocking at his front door.

When he opens the door, he finds a snail on the doormat looking at him.

Fred picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later, Fred answers the door again and it’s the same snail.

The snail says: “What the heck was that all about?”

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Send your groaners to Maureen Dolan, mdolan@cdapress.com.

Keep ’em clean, and don’t be mean.