Learn these non-verbal communication clues

Editor’s Note: The following is part one of a three-part series by Nils Rosdahl on non-verbal communication.

Of our communication, 68 percent is non-verbal. In first impressions, 93 percent of our communication is non-verbal. What people think of us after a first impression is how they perceive us.

Perception — Our view of the world. The process through which we become aware of our environment by organizing and interpreting the evidence of our senses. This process allows us to make sense of our stimuli. We use that data to make an interpretation and form a conclusion. People remember the interpretation and the conclusion, not the data. All this is what counts with impressions.

First impressions are what you need to change or add to (and control) through your communication. First impressions result in a stereotype. Stereotypes probably are not fair. But they’re partly and usually true; that’s why we do it.

Effective Communication — When the receiver receives the message in the same way that the source intends it. There is Intentional and Unintentional Communication. You can never not communicate. Good communicators are intentional. They can manipulate the data given for others to make first impressions.

And since 93 percent of communications in first impressions is based on non-verbal communications, let’s look at what non-verbals are comprised of and what we can control. You also can use this in your writing, adding active detail to your stories and improving your quality of writing.

Areas of non-verbal communication:

1. Body Language (Kinesics):

A. Gestures (700,000 options, such as the peace sign, screw you, goodbye). It includes how the arm and hand are held and what fingers are used in what combinations. Pointing at someone with one finger can easily change to reaching out by adding the rest of the fingers. And when you’re pointing, three fingers are aimed back to you.

B. Body movements (shaking hands — warmth, cold fish, bone-crusher, two-handed.

A friend was a university track coach who was hit hard by multiple sclerosis and could barely move his right arm and had to be in a wheelchair. I went to a track meet with him to help with the wheelchair. He had invited high school athletes he was hoping to recruit and their parents. When he would meet them, he would shake their right hand weakly so he added his stronger left hand to their forearms. It was like an electrical circuit; they lit up with the extra touch.

Touching can be cultural: preen hair, adjust tie, distracting mannerisms.

C. Posture — Indicate one’s position in life, how you feel about yourself; shy has shoulders down, moving forward shows you’re interested. Think of heroic figures: Audrey Hepburn, Clint Eastwood.

D. Facial movement. Strongest of all non-verbal behavior. Interviewers should be aware of both sides of the table.

E. Eye behavior and all their associated parts, such as lashes, eyebrows. The strongest indicator of the face. Rolled eyes, wide eyes, Hawaiian stink eye, evil eye, winking, blinking, batting, sideways flirt, brow (furrowed, arched). “Eyes forward” for military.

F. Eye contact: Makes people feel important, shows you’re listening. Can depend on culture. (Blacks in early American history could not make eye contact with whites, and in Native American culture, younger people wouldn’t look elders in the eye out of respect.)

Eye contact indicates trust, confidence. Eyes are the “windows to the soul.”

G. Physical characteristics. What you look like. Height, weight, colors, skin, hair, bone structure, attractive, otherwise; gait, poise. What we’re most aware of.

I have light-blue eyes. Once I was sitting at a table with a 4-year-old grandniece. I had on a light blue shirt. She looked at my eyes, my shirt, my eyes, my shirt, my eyes and said, “Uncle Nils, that shirt makes your eyes really creepy.”

Chubby people shouldn’t wear horizontal stripes.

Next week, we’ll talk about clothing, paralanguage and other areas of nonverbal communication.

Now for the Tidbits

- Tommy’s Cars, Trucks & RVs is new at 5675 N. Government Way.

- The new Bakery by the Lake will be on Coeur d’Alene Lake Drive.

- T-Blue Boutique (formerly Tiffany Blue) is adding a third store, this in Hayden Creek Plaza, 8134 Government Way.

- Alpine Animal Hospital is building a new clinic at Kathleen and Player Drive.

- Watch for several new places in the Rockford Building at 504 E. Lakeside.

- A Maverik gas station-convenience store is under construction at State Line. And a new Maverik will be built in the southwest corner of Government Way and Dalton Avenue.

- Credit unions under construction in Rathdrum are P1FCU and STCU. And Mountain America Credit Union will be in the former Inland Northwest Bank building in Post Falls.

- HuHot Mongolian Grill will occupy the former Payless Shoes space and more in Ironwood Square.

- AutoZone is building a new place at Highway 54 and Sylvan Lane in Athol.

- An “at home” store will be in the former Kmart building at Neider and Highway 95. Other retail and/or restaurant space will be in the former garden area to the west.

- North Idaho Blueprint will move to Hayden.

- A Crown & Thistle “Coming Soon” sign is at 107 N. Fourth.

- New places coming are Pokeworks and Union Coffee.

- Release Float Spa will be at River City Plaza off Highway 41.

- Consign Furniture will build a new structure in Riverstone.

- Roger’s Ice Cream & Burgers, already with two places in Coeur d’Alene and one in Post Falls, is building a fourth, this one at 8833 N. Hess St. in Hayden.

- Franz Bakery will move from 1220 Government Way to 500 W. Dalton.

- Lush Intimate Apparel will move from 206 E. Indiana Ave. to Suite 1 at 1111 E. Sherman. Details later.

- Paragon Brewing will open its new building at 5785 Government Way soon.

- Coeur d’Alene Vision Source is building a new place at 3879 N. Schreiber Way.

- Velvet Hammer Boutique will be a new retail clothing store in Riverstone.

- Staybridge Suites hotel is under construction in Riverstone. A Marriott Fairfield Inn is planned for nearby on Ironwood.

- A new building for Idaho Central Credit Union is under construction at 1327 W. Appleway.

- North Idaho Eye Institute has a building under construction across from the Hayden library.

- Contact Nils Rosdahl at [email protected].