October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, but for those who live in the hell of that reality it’s every month 24/7. There is no minute of any day that you’re not walking on eggshells, holding your breath, vowing to be more of something or less of something in order to keep a blow up from happening. There’s no minute of any day that you’re not drowning in the hopelessness of the situation and expending Herculean effort to mask what’s going on behind closed doors, questioning and second guessing how you came to find yourself in such a dark place. There’s no minute of any day that you aren’t wondering how to survive for just another minute of one more day.

Often the transformation of your life had been so gradual that before you knew it you were separated by miles and emotional distance from family and friends. Isolated in all the ways that matter from the people who could and would toss a lifeline. Then factor in the embarrassment, and perhaps the love once felt for your abuser and being delusional in believing that things will change on their own and that happily ever after isn’t just a pipe dream.

Statistics on domestic violence fail to tell the whole story. Do you think you could tell at a glance who is living in an abusive relationship? Do you presume that poverty, alcohol and drug abuse are requisites to domestic violence? I find myself about to type the statement, “I’m no expert,” but then realize I AM an expert. I’m also a survivor who bears the scars of a decade-long nightmare of a marriage that I was fortunate to escape.

When I did and came home to rebuild my life the fact that the family who loved me and the friends who cared about me had no clue what I’d been through is not uncommon. In every neighborhood and economic demographic domestic violence exists but is often invisible. In the more than three decades since I came out on the other side with my life I’ve spoken to a number of civic groups about the experience and recorded a video PSA for Safe Passages. Without fail women come up and quietly share that they too had at one point been through the same hell of emotional and physical battering.

It took me years before I could speak publicly but perhaps if more of us could overcome the stigma of judgment and embarrassment for having been a victim and embrace our survival, we can as a community bring the reality of domestic violence out from behind closed doors. In the process encouraging those currently living the nightmare to see light at the end of the tunnel. Life free of fear and filled with hope is worth it.

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This week’s things to do highlights:

Coeur d’Alene Symphony Orchestra’s 41st season debut concert, “A Glorious Beginning,” with Maestro Jan Pellant. Performances are 7:30 p.m. Friday and 2 p.m. Saturday at the Kroc Center.

Friday is the seventh annual New York Runway Elegance Fashion Show to benefit St. Vincent de Paul’s warming shelters, from 5:30-9 p.m. at the Best Western Plus Coeur d’Alene Inn.

Saturday is the fall cowboy breakfast at the historic Pleasantview School from 8-11 a.m. Homemade biscuits and gravy, scrambled eggs and homemade jams and honey butter. Proceeds to the Pleasantview Community Association for the maintenance and restoration of the school, located at 18724 W. Riverview Drive, Post Falls.

Kootenai County Farmer’s Market’s Fall Fest last Saturday was plagued with the blustery storm, so this Saturday they’re holding Fall Fest Do-Over with lots of activities and vendors. It’s 9 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at the corner of U.S. 95 and Prairie Avenue.

Running Shoes and Micro Brews, 2-5 p.m. Saturday at Kiwanis Park. Info: Post Falls Parks & Recreation, 208-773-0539.

Run for the Angels and Family Fun Day on Sunday from noon to 4 p.m. at McEuen Park. To benefit the Inland NW SIDS Foundation. Info: 208-557-4371.

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Happy birthday today to Wendy Medlock, Jack Sjostrom, Dana Kinsey, Rebecca Armstrong, Millie Eylar, Linda Harris, Renee` Mullan, Karla Derton and David Tabakman. Tomorrow Andy Stidham, Dave Bobbitt, Dave Priano, Madison Morrow (16!), Darcy Johnson, Shylo Deubner, Meilee Anderson and Jeff McLean will celebrate.

On Friday Ozrik Hutchison, Mary Wolfinger, Jada Olson, Jim Wilund, Michael Hillman, Barbara Lovett, Teri Grubbs, Valerie Queen, Ami Manning, John Beebe, Mike Bryan, Tommy Lynn and Nicole Sobelman put on their party hats. On Saturday Jan Lindquist, Pat Riley, Amber Butler, Margie Basaraba, Jonalyn Clayton, Debbie McEnespy, David Kamka, Joe Eatherton, Steve Staaben and Tim Turrell will have their cake and eat it, too.

An Oct. 6 birthday shout-out to Ellen Travolta (80!), Gary Marian, Brooke Miller, Rochelle Seher, Katrina Slater, Kyle Messier, Kate Bennett and Ricky Blaski. On Monday Nancy Harlocker, Midge Smock, Vicki Gehring, Mark Michalak and Erin Paisley blow out their birthday candles. Pat McGaughey, Dale Bennett, Craig Hampton, Suzanne DeTar, Laurie Rumore, Joel Elgee, Barbara Baltzell, Chris Nicastro, Josh Hissong and Jeff Hill toast the anniversary of their birth on Tuesday.

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Kerri Rankin Thoreson is a member of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists and the former publisher of the Post Falls Tribune. Main Street appears every Wednesday in The Press and Kerri can be contacted on Facebook or via email mainstreet@cdapress.com. Follow her on Twitter @kerrithoreson.