The League must begin this official record with the smug acknowledgment that all 11 Press Pigskin Prognosticators grossly misfired on Green Bay in Week 4. Lulled into Packer playoff pretension, they were. And all 11 ended up in Week 4 with Eagle droppings on their helmets.

The first quarter of the regular season is over, so The League now presents fans with an update on the game-within-a-game chess matches. By that The League means, in head-to-head competition, how are your precocious pickers proceeding?

With Mike Ditka tallying results assisted by the ebullient Jordyn Keller, let’s take a look:

DA COPPERS: Coeur d’Alene Police Chief Lee White leads his Post Falls counterpart, Sir Pat Knight, by two games. The League further bestows upon White a special acknowledgment for use of the term “rectal toboggan” in his canine-crouching smacktalk.

DA PIE GUYS: Pizza purveyors Jim Hightower (Domino’s) and Jared Staples (Papa Murphy’s) have a head-to-head side bet of $100 to go to their chosen local nonprofits. If he keeps this up, Hightower (four games behind Staples, who is the overall leader) will finish with cheese on his phiz and a dent in his checkbook.

DA JOCKS: High school athletic supporters Jim “Dinger” Winger and Mike “Manhandles” Randles are separated by just one game, with Randles holding his precarious advantage in a special cup. But Winger is stretching to snap the gap.

DA INTERNETTERS: In a duel to determine who’s made of finer football fiber, Mike Kennedy (Intermax) is holding an ungentlemanly three-game lead over Packer apologist Deanne Boegli (TDS). Boegli has been fined each week by The League and reprimanded relentlessly by The Commissioner for her insensitive and hurtful remarks about the Monsters of the Midway. Could Kennedy’s cushion be karma?

DA LOAN SHARKS: Who you gonna call? Anne Hagman of ICCU, who is so sweet and forgiving that you might not have to pay her back? She’s in last place, by the way. Or Suzanna Spencer of STCU, who’s also sweet but a real gunslinger on the gridiron? Spencer is just one game behind Randles for the overall lead, and seven ahead of poor Anne. (The League officially notes that Hagman appears green with envy.)

DA SPORTS GUY: Leave it to the ringer, sports writer Steve Cameron, to lay back in the pack, seemingly no threat to anybody, out of sight and out of mind. Only two prognosticators have worse records than Steve. But just wait. The Commissioner has seen Cameron at the dog track, and he usually leaves with significantly more money than he had upon arrival. Watch for the man to make his move … unless, of course, he blindly sticks with the Packers. Then pity the sucker.

For this week’s picks and everybody’s current records, head on over to today’s Sports section.