COVID-19, senior shopping and what happens in the grocery store

This morning I decided to avail myself of one of the “perks” being afforded me — reserved senior shopping from 7 a.m. to 9 a.m. at our local Safeway. It was surreal — if not sad — seeing most of us shuffling through the aisles, using carts as walkers. There were a few younger folks shopping. I briefly considered making a citizens arrest — “Stop in the name of Safeway and COVID-19” — I’d bellow. In this fantasy, I looked suspiciously like Mariska Hargitay in “SVU” — I even heard the sound effect in my head. But I digress … back to shopping.

It was all quite civil — everyone staying apart — even queuing in front of the fresh poultry. This is where, I am ashamed to admit, my true self tried to emerge from my old lady chrysalis. As I waited impatiently for my turn, I had to tamp down an irrational urge to scream, “Drop that chicken breast … It’s miiiiiinnnne…” I got it together — though I seethed each time a granny or grandpa brandished their plastic bag stuffed with chicken breasts about which I had now become quite territorial.

I can’t begin to tell you what happened in the wine aisle … but I became something between the Terminator and the bear in the Revenant.

For the sake of our community, I am going to try a delivery service next.

TERESA LINDSEY

Sandpoint