THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: There are legit GOATs — and then there's Brady

Stop.

Stop, stop, stop.

Are you getting my message here?

Stop with all this nonsense about Tom Brady being the ultimate GOAT.

Brady is not the “Greatest of All Time,” although you’re welcome to find another animal and use those appropriate initials for the Tampa Bay quarterback.

There has been a rush to worship Brady since the final kneel-down of the Bucs’ 31-9 victory over wounded and helpless Kansas City in the Super Bowl.

Let’s just take all this as a product of the internet era, a time in which everyone who can breathe seems qualified to hand out titles at will.

I’ve seen major media outlets begin stories with this simple question…

“Is Tom Brady the greatest athlete of all time?”

That one is totally absurd, but at least a few well-known sports pundits have chiseled the issue a little bit.

They’ve given it just a teeny, tiny bit of sense, like so…

“Is Tom Brady the greatest team sport athlete of all time?”

THE FIRST question is idiotic.

Calling a football quarterback — any quarterback, any team, any era — the greatest athlete of all time is just plain nuts.

I don’t care if you’re making a case for Brady, or Joe Montana, or Johnny Unitas (or Patrick Mahomes, for that matter), no quarterback can put up numbers or collect Super Bowl rings by himself.

You cannot compare Brady to athletes who HAVE achieved superstar status, and done it all alone.

Even discussing the matter is an insult to heroes and heroines who truly should be included when debating a GOAT.

I’ve written this previously, but I’ll go with the incomparable gymnast Simone Biles.

There is spectacular competition in this category, since it includes athletes who have had staggering success — people like swimmer Michael Phelps (23 Olympic gold medals); Usain Bolt (triple sprint champion at three straight Olympics); tennis queen Serena Williams; boxing icon Muhammed Ali; and golfers Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods.

Oh, and about the Olympics…

Only two athletes (besides Phelps) have won the same individual event in four straight Games.

The magic duo would be Americans Al Oerter in the discus, beginning in 1956, and Carl Lewis in the long jump, a run that started in 1984 – and included 65 consecutive victories in various international events.

That’s GOAT stuff.

SO WHY have I chosen Biles from such a magnificent group?

Simple.

Simone basically has reinvented the entire sport of gymnastics.

She has a string of jumps, twists and various high-flying maneuvers — some considered so dangerous that no other athletes are even allowed to attempt them — that are named for her.

Someday, the sport itself could be called “Biles.”

OK, are we square on the crazy notion of comparing Tom Brady with athletes who achieve incredible greatness by themselves?

Fine, now moving along to team sports…

Yes, Brady has had a stellar career, and I give him the highest marks for playing at an elite level into his 40s.

Remarkable.

But all this babble about the seven rings?

Good for you, Tom, but…

Well, you’d have one less if Pete Carroll had let Marshawn Lynch have the ball on the 1-yard line.

Even with those seven rings, though, Brady will need four more just to tie basketball legend Bill Russell, who not only won 11 titles with the Boston Celtics — but managed the last three as a player-coach.

OH, AND Russell also won back-to-back NCAA championships in his only two seasons at the University of San Francisco.

Bill snagged an Olympic gold medal in 1956, as well.

Now, while we’re on the subject of team sports…

Brady’s obviously a special quarterback, but are you seriously going to compare him with someone like Wayne Gretzky?

When your peers (and everyone on the planet) refers to you as “The Great One,” even in casual descriptions…

We’ve moved to another universe, folks.

I won’t even bother listing all of Gretzky’s records, but suffice it to say he racked up more career assists than any other player in hockey history has managed total points.

No, that’s not a typographical error.

We haven’t even mentioned baseball yet, but Babe Ruth won World Series titles as both a pitcher (he was fantastic) and as a hitter (no more needs to be said).

Right, so now we’re judging Brady against only other quarterbacks — and doing so simply on trophies.

KIND OF a small category for a GOAT, no?

Anyhow, we’ve already established that Pete Carroll handed Tom one of those rings.

Remember, too, that Brady has LOST three Super Bowls, and everyone in the Northwest knows that should have been four.

Meanwhile, Montana won four Super Bowls without a loss for San Francisco — including a gutty game-winning drive for No. 1 — and he easily could have been five-for-five.

Joe got in a snit because there was internal competition, so he trudged off to Kansas City.

Montana’s pouting allowed former backup Steve Young to quarterback the 49ers to an easy Super Bowl win (49-26 over San Diego) following the 1994 season.

So, now we have a conclusion.

Calling Brady the greatest athlete of all time is a joke.

Calling him the greatest team sport athlete of all time is still in the comedy stage.

Calling him the greatest quarterback of all time…

Worth discussion, but…

Nah.

For me, Tom Brady is simply the greatest 43-year-old quarterback of all time.

That’s cool enough.

Email: [email protected]

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. “Moments, Memories and Madness,” his reminiscences from several decades as a sports journalist, runs each Sunday.

Steve also writes Zags Tracker, a commentary on Gonzaga basketball which will be published this Thursday, then return to its regular Tuesday slot next week.