Don’t play a classic song for your kids unless you’re prepared for them to “sing” it 900 times a day.

Certain songs are inescapable. I know parents complain about being forced to listen to the “Frozen” soundtrack over and over again, but, honestly, after hearing “Let it Go” 27,000 times, I’ve learned to accept it as just another voice in my head. At least Idina Menzel’s voice sounds pretty; not at all like that self-loathing voice in my head that tells me I’m too fat to eat pizza or donuts.

And thankfully, Disney made “Frozen II” so whenever I DON’T want to hear the kids butcher “Let It Go,” I can sing over them with a newer Idina jam, like “Into the Unknown” or “Show Yourself.” Even better, I can belt out that movie’s real showstopper - “Lost in the Woods,” a song so good Weezer made their own version to play over the credits.

My oldest daughter, now age 9, remains a “Moana” superfan. When it first came out in 2016, we bought the soundtrack (on COMPACT DISC because we’re Americans), and my daughter played “How Far I’ll Go” on repeat until she could recite every word. I can’t really blame her… I was pretty much doing the same with another Lin Manuel Miranda-penned soundtrack around that time, and, if we rehearsed it a bit, I bet my daughter and I could perform a bangin’ mash-up of “How Far I’ll Go” and “The Room Where It Happens.”

Recently our weekend family parties consist of eating chips and listening to random songs on the Pandora streaming service. No Disney songs though. We choose Old Millennials-specific stations, mostly “Radio hits of the 90s,” or “Summer Jams of the 2000s,” so I can turn my back from the TV screen and name the song title within 15 seconds. This is a “talent” my four kids all find deeply disturbing.

Them: “Why do you know so many song titles by “Matchbox 20?”

Me: “Because I’m an American.”

Playing this game yielded one major discovery for my daughters: Whitney Houston’s version of “I Will Always Love You” from “The Bodyguard” (and originally written by the legendary Dolly Parton).

Good lord, they love this song. Anytime one of them walks to the bathroom or goes up or down the stairs, I hear a very pitchy, little kid version of the chorus - “And I… E…. I… will always love you!” Our five-year-old closes her eyes when she sings too, making those trips down the stairs somewhat perilous.

They also fight about the proper song delivery.

The 9-year-old: “And IIIII….EEE....III… will always… LOVE YOU! Oooh, ooh, ooh.”

The 5-year-old: “No, no, no. It’s ‘IIIII…EE…IIIIIII… will alwaaaays… LOVE YOU! Ooooh ooh!’”

Both don’t sound quite right. So then I’m like:

“It’s ‘III...E...IIIIII, will always… LOVE YOOOOU! Ooooh, ooh!”

Honestly, we’re all so bad at it, and yet, we’re all so judgmental of the contestants on “American Idol.”

I shudder to think of what might happen if I introduce my kids to Celine Dion. I do, however, think my 5-year-old could nail the arm gestures necessary for the “Near…. Far…. wherever you are” segment of “My Heart Will Go On.” Just not on the stairs.

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Tyler Wilson is a freelance writer and stay-at-home dad to four kids, ages 3-9. He is tired. He can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.