RATHDRUM — One minute, Juliana Hilbert's infant son was alive and well.

Then he wasn't.

“He was perfectly healthy, and then he was just gone, like God just took him,” said Hilbert, seated in the coolness of her living room.

“It really was just like that," she said. "I went to check on him and he wasn’t responsive.”

Hilbert, 24, suffered what no mother should ever have to experience when her 4-month-old son, Simeon, died of sudden infant death syndrome on May 18, 2020.

Hilbert continues to live the trauma in her mind as she sees replays of her partner, Jack Murphy, performing CPR on their son.

“I was hysterical," she said. "I’m sitting here watching my son die on the ground right in front of me."

The images of first responders repeat in her mind, as does that horrific moment when the doctor took her aside in a small room in the hospital.

“The doctor came back there and said, ‘I’m sorry,’ and those were the first two words he could even get out of his mouth,” she said, wiping tears from beneath her glasses. “I started screaming after he said, ‘I’m sorry’ because I already knew the rest of what was going to come out of his mouth.

“Sixteen people worked on him. They did everything they could, but they couldn’t,” she said, trailing off. “It was literally just like that.”

The loss of their son created a painful void in their already difficult lives. Their oldest son, little Jack, is only 3 and is struggling to grasp and cope with the death of his baby brother.

“He remembers his little brother,” Hilbert said. “Not only am I a mom and I'm a mess, but I'm trying to help my child through this, too."

Before little Jack came along, Hilbert and the elder Jack were homeless, drifting through life with few cares.

“It was just me and him, our first relationship," she said.

When Hilbert became pregnant and they needed a place to stay, she looked to her elderly grandfather, who lived in the trailer where she lives now.

It was run down, worn with animal damage and waste. The only running water was a cold water pump outside.

“The place was a mess. I hadn’t been to my grandfather’s house in a number of years,” Hilbert said. “It runs in the family — he was too prideful to tell anyone about his situation, so we couldn’t help him.”

Eventually, Hilbert’s grandfather went to live with Hilbert’s mom, his daughter, so Juliana and her little family could have the trailer.

And all the maintenance and repairs that came along with it.

"The carpet was so bad from all the animals, you would walk around and your feet would be black,” Hilbert said. "I’m a very clean person; I try to keep it nice. When I was going through that and having my kid in it and having no other choice, it was hard."

After Simeon’s death, the lengthy to-do list was unbearable, and the depression Hilbert already had been battling weighed on her heart like an anchor. She also is unable to work because of a disability related to the rods and screws and other problems she has with her spine and disks in her back. She supports everyone with her disability fixed income.

“It’s tough,” she said. “$800 of it goes to bills. I was left with what, $200 a month to live? Food stamps aren’t enough.”

North Idaho Court Appointed Special Advocates — CASA — helped her through the difficult time of loss, when kind hearts heard her story and referred her to Charity Reimagined and Press Christmas for All.

Blinds, carpet, plumbing, flooring and the recognition that someone cares have made a huge difference for Hilbert and her family.

“I used to have blankets hanging on the windows for privacy, because I couldn’t afford anything,” she said. “That was like $600 almost, so that was a lot.

"When I got the new carpet, it was such a transformation," she said.

A friend found a donation of high quality carpet, so CFA partners and Habitat for Humanity installed it for her.

“There was a certain amount of money that I was nominated for, but there was more stuff they wanted to do for me outside of those funds," Hilbert said, adding that even though she told them she couldn’t accept so much kindness, those working on her case insisted they get as much done as they could.

“They put the carpet in, they fixed my water for me so I don’t have to boil water anymore to bathe me and my child,” she said. “They gave me the blinds, they’re going to put linoleum in the kitchen and dining room area, and linoleum down in my bathroom.”

They also helped fix sub-flooring so the floor won’t cave in.

“They’re doing all this stuff for me, and I’m just like, ‘Whoa!’” Hilbert said. "I’ve cried multiple times with everything. It’s just one blessing after another. I’m like, 'You guys need to stop,’ and they’re like, ‘We’re just going to finish this.’

"I know they want to make sure me and my son have a safe place," she said. "They don’t want me to end up homeless."

The volunteers are going to repair a leak in the roof, as well.

“They’re basically fixing anything that’s broken that could be a major problem in the future so I don’t have to worry about it,” Hilbert said.

It's been a nice distraction for the young mom, who is still picking up the pieces of her shattered heart.

“Once all the work is done, I feel like I’ll finally be able to have a chance to really grieve. There’s been one thing after another happening in my personal life since my son died," she said. "Hopefully in the future when things are settled down, and once the house is done, I can finally grieve."

Charity Reimagined board member Elaine Kingston said Hilbert was at rock bottom in December, with low self-esteem and no hope of looking forward.

That's no longer the case.

"Thanks to the Christmas for All donors and vendor partners, we were able to give her a decent place to live and help her believe that she earned this award because she kept fighting for her family and herself amidst a horribly sad situation," Kingston said. "She now talks about what her future might look like and I love hearing the energy in her voice. Those of us at Charity Reimagined are so grateful for our front row seat watching the amazing transformations we have been able to be a part of. Giving people hope is often all they need to reignite their own talents and gifts moving forward."