THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Zags find good matchup against good program in unique setting

Mark Few will take the Zags just about anywhere to find a tough opponent.

They’ve played neutral-court slugfests in South Dakota and Indianapolis, not to mention the middle of the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans — and they’ll sign up for home-and-home deals with anyone who’s really good.

And, yes, they’re talking to various conferences with more clout (and money) than the WCC, although how far those discussions have gone depends on how honest you suspect AD Chris Standiford is being when he uses the word “exploratory.”

Now, however, the Zags are doing something new for a rough-and-tumble game against Michigan State — complete with Tom Izzo’s gang who bang the boards, lean all over you and generally make the game no fun.

This scrum between the Zags and Spartans powers will be — really and truly — contested on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln, an aircraft carrier based in San Diego.

Tipoff for the Veteran’s Day Salute match is 3:30 p.m. on ESPN, and will be proceeded at 3 by the network’s special sports tribute to members of the armed forces.

SPACE FOR this hoops test should not be any problem, since the carrier is 1,092 feet long — nor should she wobble much in port, since the carrier known fondly throughout the Navy as “Abe” weighs a not-so-ladylike 116,800 tons.

In truth, there are more interesting stories about the ship than even Few and Izzo could conjure up, although given these two basketball lifers, it might be closer than expected.

Even some of best tales of Gonzaga and Michigan State hoops, though, can’t match the events aboard the “Abe” immediately after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

Since I wasn’t onboard for the following months, I’m going to trust Wikipedia with this account.

Thousands of sailors and air crew (the ship can hold more than 5,600 personnel) swear this story is true, and many have a badge to prove it.

Here we go …

“The carrier was put to sea in July of 2002 to support Operation Enduring Freedom. She took up station once more in support of Operation Southern Watch before taking a port visit to Perth, Western Australia.

“During this time, Abraham Lincoln was ordered to the Persian Gulf to take part in Operation Iraqi Freedom. This forced the Navy to extend Abraham Lincoln's stay from January 20, 2003 to May 6.

“The news of this extension was delivered to the ship's crew on New Year's morning by the then battlegroup commander, Rear Admiral Kelly, with the phrase, 'We don't need to be home holding our loved ones, we need to be here holding the line. ‘Get over it!’

“The term ‘Get over it’ became the running joke aboard ship, which eventually led to a deployment patch made aboard the ship that contained the phrase – along with an image intended to depict an admiral kicking a sailor in the groin.”

LET’S HOPE there’s none of that in the game, even if the Zags and Spartans will wear special combat-themed uniforms.

Keep those low blows to thoughts that pop up while wearing semi-warfare gear in various brawls under the basket.

As for the game itself, no matter the conditions each of these clubs might find itself while playing on a massive naval vessel, both have goals in mind that they hope will play out later in the season.

Spring, for instance.

After two exhibitions and a rout of North Florida in The Kennel on Monday night, Gonzaga clearly looks like a team with work to do.

Unlike some of Few’s previous groups, this edition comes with plenty of questions.

The most obvious in this short, early look at the Zags would seem to put a spotlight on how well Nolan Hickman can adapt to playing point guard for a team that annually aims for the Final Four.

Hickman did get some time last year behind Andrew Nembhard, but his minutes decreased as games became more critical.

Nolan is also “just” 6-2, so there is the question of whether he’s strong enough to hold up at both ends of the court.

AT THE moment, senior Rasir Bolton is the backup at point, but he's best suited to draining 3-pointers and scoring from the wing — and super-athletic Hunter Sallis has played some point, as well.

It almost feels like an audition for everyone, because …

There’s good reason Nembhard is now in the NBA.

It will be interesting to see if the powerful (6-4, 220) Malachi Smith might get time running the offense – since he’s looked outstanding doing everything else.

The Zags also need to find out how well they can defend the paint, with Drew Timme staying out of foul trouble and getting major help from 7-foot transfer Efton Reid III and senior Anton Watson.

Few always seems to put the pieces together, and this team has plenty of talent available for his fiddling.

As long as the “Abe” stays safely in port during the game, the Zags no doubt will take some steps forward.

They have plenty of steps still to take, and a bruising non-conference schedule to make things happen.

Gonzaga’s record over the past three seasons was 90-7.

This year may see a few more setbacks, but just like Michigan State, Few is building toward March.

Meantime …

“Anchors aweigh!”

No, wait, no …

Leave that anchor in place, thanks.

Email: [email protected]

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”