MOSES LAKE — It’s a time families dread. Mom, or Dad, or Grandma, is slowing down a little, becoming forgetful, maybe having some health problems, and it’s getting to be more than they and their family can keep up with alone. As hard as it is to think about, it’s time to look into assisted living.

So how do you make that transition?

“We see two very common types of situations,” said Joe Ketterer, executive director of Brookdale Hearthstone Moses Lake, an assisted living facility. “One is the senior living by themselves. It's an unsafe environment, you don't have the housekeeping, the basic assistance with daily living activities ... So it's the solo senior type of situation. Or what's very common is they're living with an adult child, or adult nephew or something like that, and the burden on the family has gone above what they can handle.”

Many of the people who look into assisted living for their loved ones are juggling careers and families of their own as well, Ketterer added.

“They’re in their prime earning years,” he said. “We’ll have adult children that are grandparents themselves that are still taking care of Mom and Dad.”

Once the decision is made, the process of adjustment can begin. Many seniors still live in the same home where they raised their families, with all the space and furniture and everything else that a family accumulates over time. The key to that downsizing, Ketterer said, is a matter of perspective.

“Looking at that room, they're like, ‘I've lived in a five-bedroom house my entire life.’ I was like, ‘Well, now you're coming into a 100-plus-room mansion on the hill. Now you have your dining room where you socialize, people are serving you meals. We have the entertainment rooms that you can go to. If it's the Macy's Day Parade or the Seattle Mariners game, you can go into the family room and watch them on the big screen.”

With shared space taking the place of many of the functions the resident’s former home had, the space they’re accustomed to simply isn’t necessary, Ketterer explained.

“Some of (them) have been very smart about minimalizing decoration, the pictures of the family and such,” he said. “It's a good spring cleaning that they get to take advantage of. And once they've made that transition, they realize they're in the rooms to sleep or maybe watch TV. Otherwise, they're out being engaged, they're going to the casinos, they're going to the pumpkin patch … the rodeo and stuff.”

“I think it comes to them that it's a lot easier to manage, and they feel a lot more comfortable,” said Tatiana Hernandez, resident program director at Brookdale Hearthstone. “At first, it's a huge difference. It's a huge adjustment. But with time, I think they get a little bit better.”

The caregiver website mmlearn.org recommends making a new resident’s room as familiar as possible, by bringing along family photos, favorite blankets or other objects that will make the room more like home. “Home may be where the heart is, but material objects offer comfort while the heart catches up,” the site says.

Residents at Brookdale Hearthstone can keep their cars if they still drive, although Ketterer said they usually give them up later when they find it easier to use the facility’s transportation. They also can keep pets, he said, which goes a long way toward making their new home more appealing. There’s an ice cream parlor and a beauty salon on the premises, as well as a chapel where local clergy of various faiths come and offer services for residents who are accustomed to going to church.

Hernandez said she tries to find what social activities will interest new residents and give them lots of opportunities to meet other residents. The first step is to pair a newcomer up with what she calls a “resident ambassador,” a current resident who will introduce them around and help them get their bearings.

One of those ambassadors is 92-year-old Dee Norton, who’s been through the process herself and understands well the struggle that many new residents encounter.

“When you come here, this is your home. You have to make so many adjustments. The places are much, much smaller. You have to downsize. And change to me is repotting the plant. I just feel you get repotted. You look at things differently. It's a challenge.”

Joel Martin can be reached via email at [email protected].