THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Seahawk fans rejoicing in Russ' struggles

Hey, it’s Friday in a crazy week, so that’s the signal for a “Notes and Quotes” offering, yes?

Right.

Let’s do it, but first I need to provide an apology for skipping my usual Tuesday and Wednesday columns.

With permission from our company bosses, I was granted a couple of personal “thinking days” — used to meander aimlessly in the backwoods and wonder …

How in the HELL can Seattle overhaul the Houston Astros, in 2023 and beyond?

To wit …

Can Jesse Winker be reborn after surgeries on his knee and neck?

How much would Trea Turner or Dansby Swanson cost on the open market?

Or …

Can the Mariners change divisions?

Ah, well, that’s all a challenge to be played out months down the road, so let’s chat about a few issues in front of us at the moment, eh?

Onward …

ITEM: Are you worried about gaining weight as the weather turns colder, and it gets tougher to walk, jog or (sigh) play golf for the next few months?

Tougher folks will bundle up and forge ahead, perhaps switching from hitting 7-irons to plunging down some of our nearby ski slopes.

I mean, there ARE ways to stay in shape without joining a gym — though that’s a perfectly fine idea.

On the other hand, you could become a winter couch potato, give up on trying to stay ripped during our chilly season, and simply hope you can recover that fine physique next spring.

If that’s the plan, you have a new hero: Bear 747.

According to a CNN story from Katmai National Park & Preserve in Alaska, there is actually a competition called “Fat Bear Week” — honoring the biggest (and likely hungriest) bear that can be measured without any unnecessary mauling of judges.

Bear 747, who really deserves an actual name, is this year’s winner, according to the sponsor Explore.org.

This big boy is estimated to check in around 1,400 pounds — though no one actually put him on a scale.

Would you?

Anyhow, Mr. 747 is considered likely the largest brown bear on Earth.

Apparently, suggesting that this humongous creature mix in a salad occasionally is out of the question.

Go ahead, then, pin his picture on your fridge and fatten up for the winter.

Forget the guilt.

ITEM: For the first few weeks, it was downright hilarious watching Russell Wilson play simply wretched football for his new employers in Denver.

Seeing their former quarterback fail spectacularly on opening night at Lumen Field was an invitation to party for Seahawks fans.

Then, with each of Wilson’s awful succeeding performances, Northwest football junkies could rejoice even more over the trade that shipped Russ to the Rockies for that huge haul of draft picks.

Better yet, the worse Denver plays, the higher those 2023 first- and second-round selections will pop up come draft week.

Yeah, I get it, and had a few chuckles myself as the Broncos began churning out a string of scores that would remind you of Princeton-Rutgers in 1869.

Rutgers won that one 6-4, which sounds a bit like a few Denver games so far — much to the horror of national TV execs and sponsors who expected Wilson to provide truckloads of revenue.

Instead, Russ and the Broncos have turned into America’s most effective sleep aid.

So, sure, I understand, but …

If this keeps up, I might actually start feeling sorry for our old Boy Scout QB -- even with his millions, his gorgeous celebrity wife and that whole barrel of past success.

Or …

I might not.

ITEM: Tennessee turned the college football world upside down last weekend with that dramatic 52-49 upset of Alabama.

The Vols had lost 15 straight to their hated rivals, so predictably, the 100,000 screaming partisans in Neyland Stadium, all of Knoxville, and Tennessee fans everywhere went berserk when a last-second field goal brought them deliverance against Bama.

One of the stadium goal posts wound up in the Tennessee River — after a celebratory trip down the main drag, Cumberland Avenue — and Knoxville literally partied until dawn.

Tennessee and star quarterback Hendon Hooker suddenly have jumped into the national playoff picture, and the Vols are in heaven.

However …

The game was barely over when a meme from Alabama began circulating on social media.

It read …

"When you beat Alabama, you rush the field, you tear down goalposts, you jump in the polls. You should. The day you beat Bama is a momentous occasion. It's a storied moment that will go down in the history of your program.

“But understand, when Bama beats you ... it's just Saturday."

Ka-boom!

Email: [email protected]

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays. He also writes a Thursday commentary on Gonzaga basketball during the season.

He’s also quite proud to have held a job longer than British Prime Minister Liz Truss, who lasted just 44 days — so let’s hear it for longevity.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”