THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Plenty to stay up late for this weekend

Two of the world’s most fascinating sports events have kicked off and teed it up today.

Please note I’ve used the past tense in that sentence — because the Women’s World Cup soccer extravaganza began with a match between New Zealand and Norway at midnight, our time.

Meanwhile, the 151st British Open (the grandfather of golf) began even earlier, at 6:46 a.m. at the Royal Liverpool Golf Club in Hoylake, England.

That was 10:46 p.m. out here, and a little late to rush the early result to press.

Now then …

Having lived in Britain, I know better to call that tournament the “British Open.”

It is known simply as: “The Open.”

Taking such a verbal liberty concerning golf in the country where it was invented (OK, technically, it was a few hours north in Scotland) might get a pint slapped out of your hand.

Moving on …

Unless you’re Elon Musk and have just invented a low-level rocket to replace commercial aircraft, well, sadly it’s impossible to hop quickly back and forth between the golf and soccer events.

Liverpool and Auckland, New Zealand, are 11,128 miles apart — which is almost as far as it gets in the civilized world.

IF YOU count yourself a soccer junkie, you’ll no doubt stay up at all hours to watch the women’s soccer — and specifically, to see if the injury-plagued USA can win a third straight World Cup title.

Most soccer pundits have picked Germany to take down the Americans, with star striker Alex Popp likely leading all tournament scorers.

Another candidate for the Golden Boot is Sam Kerr of co-host Australia, and she’ll be in a good spot if the dark horse Matildas can advance fairly deep into the knockout stage.

The Germans are in great shape, since their main opposition – the U.S., England and the Netherlands — all have been crippled at just the wrong time.

The English are coming off victory at the 2022 European Championships where they defeated Germany, but Golden Boot winner (and player of the tournament) Beth Mead, and dynamic captain Leah Williamson, are both out with knee injuries.

The same goes for Dutch striker Vivianne Miedema, and American stars Mallory Swanson and veteran defender Becky Sauerbrunn.

No one, however, is counting out the USA.

“They have a different mentality,” said English center back Lotte Wubben-Moy. “They’re ruthless, and they ALWAYS expect to win. It’s not like they’re just happy to be here.”

“I went to school at North Carolina, and I got to see the way those girls approach the game.

“They find ways to win, no matter how tough the situation.”

Despite the loss of Swanson and Sauerbrunn, the Americans are not short of talent, either.

Almost everyone at the tourney sites in New Zealand and Australia expects former Stanford phenom Sophia Smith to be named young star of the event — if it isn’t 18-year-old teammate Alyssa Thompson.

Meanwhile, Rose Lavelle is one of the best midfielders in the world, and savvy winners Alex Morgan, Megan Rapinoe and Julie Ertz are all still around to chip in at critical moments.

“We’re not here to lose,” Morgan said, bluntly.

MEANWHILE, across several oceans and continents, the focus will be on Rory McIlroy — who is in a bit of a majors drought — but won at Hoylake in 2014.

And of course …

There’s the weather.

The western coast of England is expected to get light rain, heavy rain and OMG rain, along with buffeting winds and everything else that can make golf difficult.

Open winners are often the players who have not been carried off with pneumonia sometime during play.

It makes for fascinating viewing — from the warmth of your den.

And yet, thousands of Brits and golf-sick visitors will crowd the course, and even the spectators make play more difficult.

For instance, Royal Liverpool features a crucial hole, No. 17, that is just a tiny, 136-yard par-3.

However, the little green (about the size of your kitchen table) is elevated – so with the ocean in the background, the target exactly even with the horizon and not a single tree for perspective, it feels like the players are aiming at nothing.

On of top of those problems (did we mention the deep bunkers all around the green?), the hole plays into the wind.

There will be players just two holes from winning the Claret Jug on Sunday when they get to No. 17.

They’ll desperately need to know the strength of the wind.

But, unfortunately …

Giant grandstands forming a massive horseshoe around the tee box almost totally block the wind, and give competitors no hope of knowing how hard it might be whooshing up at the green.

The hole is called “Little Eye,” for some reason that probably goes back to the Battle of Hastings — but by Sunday, it will be known by other names.

“I think it’s fair,” suggested Brooks Koepka, “because it’s unfair for everybody.”

If you can handle the odd hours and keep plenty of coffee handy, there’s fantastic golf and World Cup soccer already started.

Plus …

Raincoats, anyone?

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Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”