THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Crashing into walls, mop-up duty, and other stuff

You’re right.

It’s time.

We haven’t done a breathtaking “Notes and Quotes” chat in a while, so …

Why not get to it?

In fact, let’s start by going straight to the Terror Department, which featured the sight of Julio Rodriguez (aka The Franchise) crashing into an outfield wall in pursuit of a drive off the bat of the White Sox’ Elvis Andrus.

So far in his young career, Julio seems to know only one speed — which is admirable, but can be a little bit dangerous.

In this case, he slammed into the fence (unable to make the catch) and clearly seemed a bit shaken and dizzy afterwards.

That’s the sort of play that causes sheer fright in everyone from Scott Servais and Jerry Dipoto to every fan who sees it.

“I was running basically full speed over there and just jumping to the wall,” Julio said.

“So, I’m definitely going to feel it. But it’s all good. It just took a little air out of me. I’m fine.”

Fortunately, all’s well, but …

It probably took some time to revive the Mariners brass — who, for a split-second, saw the entire 2023 season swimming past their eyes.

ITEM: This likely isn’t something you’re thinking about day and night, but the NFL Combine has begun in Indianapolis, and will run until next week.

The only things average fans tend to recall about the Combine are the fastest times in the 40-yard dash – especially since no one has a clue how well current players did in the cone drill.

The Seahawks definitely noticed 6-3 cornerback Tariq Woolen run the 40 in 4.26 a year ago, and grabbed the converted running back in the fifth round.

Woolen, of course, became an All-Pro and tied for the league lead with six interceptions.

So the Combine isn’t exactly worthless — and there are some genuinely great moments.

When the Seahawks execs were preparing to interview DK Metcalf three years ago, one of their scouts talked DK into walking into the meeting without wearing a shirt.

After everyone got over the shock — Metcalf without a shirt is a world-class vision — Pete Carroll promptly took off HIS shirt.

GM John Schneider’s reaction: “Pete, man, get that thing back on.”

Maybe we’ll have a fun moment this year, but the whole thing is basically a meat market.

Meh.

ITEM: I have long maintained that baseball players are the nuttiest pro athletes — simply because they spend close to nine months together.

What are you going to do in all that time?


Well, Reds first baseman and six-time All-Star Joey Votto relentlessly mops his floors.

In fact, teammates call him “Joey Moppo,” and he not only doesn’t mind — he sends them videos containing some of his best mopping techniques.

This year, though, Joey seems to be surpassing himself.

He’s confidently predicting …

Wait!

Let me just take this item from the Cincinnati Enquirer to explain things properly.

“The MLB's Instagram account asked followers to comment with their ‘boldest’ National League Central predictions for the season, and Votto had the boldest of them all.

"‘Extra terrestrials arrive on earth, April 15th,’" Votto wrote.

"‘The 12-2 Reds and the rest of the planet learn from, communicate with, and befriend our alien friends. This process takes five months. Play resumes in October. The Reds sweep the playoffs and are World Series champs.’"

Now, let me ask you …

Wouldn’t it be fun to spend a season with Joey Votto?

ITEM: At long last, NFL owners are on the verge of pushing out Washington Commanders owners Daniel Snyder.

So, they’re tossing him to the curb for the endless accusation of sexual harassment and other disgusting activities involving horrible treatment of women (allegedly including photo of undressed cheerleaders), right?

Oh, hell, no.

The league isn’t THAT interested in sexual misbehavior.

On the other hand, it turns out Dan seems to have been stealing some of his partners’ money — and that’s an absolute no-no among fellow billionaires.

A recent investigation seems to show that …

Snyder allegedly took out a $55 million line of credit without the knowledge or approval of the team’s three co-owners in 2019.

According to a source, the co-owners alleged Snyder “possibly committed bank fraud” in NFL arbitration.

That loan has become the focus of the federal probe led by the FBI and IRS.

On Monday night, The Washington Post reported that Snyder had requested that a potential new owner of the team take on the financial liability for the multiple investigations and lawsuits the team currently faces.

Sure, any new owner will jump at that.

Sorry to leave you with such grubby news today, but it could be worse.

We could finish up with Brandon Miller and the gun that killed that young woman.

If you can stomach it, I’ll leave you to read that full story on your own.

For now, I just want you all to have a nice day without Dan Snyder or Brandon Miller anywhere near it — and in the future, I’ll write more about Joey Votto, OK?

You got it.

Email: [email protected]

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”