A Whitefish resident is seeking approval from the Flathead County Board of Adjustment to allow for a family cemetery on their property.

Doug Adams is seeking a conditional use permit for the cemetery to be located on property at 214 Rusty Spur Trail, which is situated off Haskill Basin Road.

The board of adjustment meets Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the second floor conference room of the South Campus Building at 40 11th St. W. in Kalispell.

The property is just over 20 acres in size and contains a single-family dwelling, a guest cabin, a horse barn and an equipment barn. While the planning staff report says the applicant is seeking the permit to allow for a “small family cemetery” the size of the cemetery wasn’t specified in the application with the county.

The property is zoned agricultural 20 and properties in the immediate vicinity are primarily single-family residential.

The property is relatively flat and does not contain any mapped wetlands, streams, rivers or lakes, and does not appear to have steep slopes, and is not located in the floodplain, according to the county staff report.

Adams, in his application with the county, answered a number of questions regarding the request.

When asked about the ability of public services for fire protection, Adams said “I promise to not be buried with a lighter, and I don’t want a funeral pyre. I’m a friend of Smokey the Bear.”

In terms of impact to the neighborhood, the application asks about excessive traffic generation.

“The funeral would be held at a church. Only the closest family members would come to the gravesite, so there would be very little traffic. Who knows if they’ll ever come visit me? Maybe there will be no traffic. A lot of folks don’t really care for me, especially Democrats.”

In terms of odors, Adams says “I can’t make any promises, cuz, ya know, I’ll be dead and unable to control my bodily odors. I promise to make the kids dig a deep hole and cover it up real good.”

Features Editor Heidi Desch may be reached at 758-4421 or [email protected].