THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: It's time to start thinking about golf — just don't look out the window

If you studied history at all, or even read some Shakespeare, you know about the Ides of March.

Going strictly by the calendar, it would be March 15 — but the phrase basically has come to mean the middle of the month.

The Ides were unkind to the famous Roman emperor Julius Caesar, who was stabbed to death by his “friends” Brutus and Cassius (along with a mob of more than 50 others).

And why are we talking about this today?

Well, because the Ides of March has real meaning to me, and it’s got nothing to do with Caesar.

This is the weekend that I really and truly begin yearning to get back on the golf course.

Yeah, I’ve tried some of the indoor winter ranges, but I can’t make myself feel that those are “real” golf shots.

It’s like those indoor ski hills.

Sorry, we need the real thing.

The Ides of March comes into play here because it’s often the weekend of The Players Championship at TPC Sawgrass — the tournament often called the “Fifth Major.”

YOU HEAR a lot of golfers say they start to get the itch during The Masters, but for me it’s The Players and its famous 17th hole.

That’s the devilish little thing that is known in wider golf circles as The Island Green.

Here’s a quick overview of No. 17, courtesy of Jay Busbee from Yahoo.com …

“The Island Green at TPC Sawgrass is the world's most recognized golf hole.

“It’s the ultimate in risk versus reward, the centerpiece of a million bucket lists, the subject of countless cheesy break-room motivational posters.

“The Island Green is the trademark hole of the Players Championship, and it’s the golf hole even non-golf fans can understand.”

Now, then …

As thrilling as this tournament can be, and however much it makes me want to grab the clubs and tee it up somewhere where there’s no snow, we know better to buy all this nonsense about “The Island Green.”

It is NOT an island.

You can walk from tee to green and never get your feet wet.

The world-renowned 17th is actually a peninsula — but that doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.

And as we locals know very well, the only true island green in the United States is right down the road at The Coeur d’Alene Resort.

YOU CAN’T get to THAT green without a boat ride, and I can tell you from experience that the return trip is absolutely wondrous if you’ve birdied the 14th — the only true island green.

Yes, believe it or not, I’ve birdied that glorious hole just once, courtesy of a young caddy who suggested I play a 15-foot putt about a ball outside the right side of the hole.

I’d have never done it on my own, since that looked like a putt that would break slightly uphill – but it doesn’t.

Bless that caddy, who received as large a tip as I could afford when we finished the round.

That advice reminded me of the years I lived in Scotland, where you ALWAYS listen to the caddies, no matter how absurd the advice might seem.

If they tell you to aim toward the sea, go ahead and line up with a lighthouse a few miles out past that fishing trawler.

Caddies make good things happen, and that’s exactly how I managed to birdie the Island Green at The Resort.

NOW, THE widespread error calling the 17th at TPC Sawgrass an island (when the only real island is right here) doesn’t detract from the onset of golf fever.

Hello, Ides of March.

Sorry about you getting stabbed to death, Julius, but for golf nuts who live in four-season country, the middle of March and The Players Championship mean that we’ll be out there hacking before too long.

I’m not sure about other local courses, but Circling Raven down in Worley opens on April 7.

Let’s meet on the first tee box.

Back to Sawgrass for a minute …

The fact that No. 17 isn’t really an island doesn’t take away from the fun of watching the best golfers in the world try to survive a little 134-yard hole with water just about everywhere.

And to be honest here, it’s a tougher hole than the island hole at The Resort because you’ve only got 24 yards of width to hit — and the green is hard enough that even the best pro’s wedge can hop off the back and …

Splash!

The island at The Resort offers a bigger target (though it’s a longer shot), and you’ve got a trap in front and a flower bed in the back to keep you dry.

Still, when the wind is up and you’re staring out at Lake Coeur d’Alene, and your mind plays tricks, ah …

Plenty of decent players dump tee shots into the water.

You know, just talking about these iconic holes makes me want to grab a flight to Arizona or somewhere else with temps of 75 and above.

Maybe just for a weekend.

Fore!

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Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”