EPHRATA — If you ask them, Ephrata School District Superintendent Tim Payne and Assistant Superintendent Ken Murray will tell you that schools in Ephrata aren’t immune to bullying. However, they’ll also tell you they do their best to manage it. 

“We try to create a venue where (students) can access a trusting adult, whether that be a principal, a counselor, a paraeducator, a cook, a teacher — whatever it might be — we want those kids to have someone that they can connect with,” Murray said. “... Kids just got to deal with some stuff today that we didn’t have to deal with when we were younger. 

Pocket bully

Payne said the district has all of the required policies and procedures Washington requires schools to have, but works hard to not just have it be a procedural situation when bullying arises. However, it’s important to look at what the definition of bullying is. He said parents and students often look at one incident of a fight or a negative interaction as bullying, when it may just be a one-off situation between two students. It only becomes bullying, he said, when it’s an ongoing problem that recurs and becomes a pattern of harassment. Today, that harassment may happen in person, but it’s as likely that the bullying starts in a digital venue. 

“Just some clarity from my perspective, that you have to define digital. Because, digital before, it was a lot of typing words, now it can be video,” Payne said. 

Social media apps and websites that students access in and out of the classroom are a hub for modern-day bullying that students can’t necessarily get away from, Murray said. It’s often in their pocket or on their desk or bedside table, and there’s no getting away from it. However, the school district still wants to find ways to deal with the situation with a positive outcome for both the victim and the bully so that behaviors and the school experience improve for everyone involved. 

Murray leaned on more than a decade of experience as a principal to explain how that looks.

“What schools typically experience in today’s world is something that has a tendency to begin in a digital format,” Murray said. 

Addressing the issue

Murray said behaviors online often provide poor role modeling for students, not just from other children, but from adults as well. People feel confident behind a screen and will say things they wouldn’t in person. Teaching students to choose the right examples is where prevention starts, he said. 

“That’s one of the things we really try to support kids on, is … we’re really proactive when it comes to our media literacy and just our digital citizenship and not only how we treat each other in a way that’s appropriate and fair, but also how to create a little bit of a safety filter for yourself. And, we try to help our students build some resiliency,” Murray said. 

When school staff must intervene, the district does have some strict guidelines under state and federal law, especially privacy laws, that it must adhere to. While oftentimes the bullied child’s parents want to know what happened for punishment when it comes to the bully, district staff cannot legally share that information, Murray and Payne said. While they understand the frustrations that can cause, they ask that parents look at it from the perspective of the parent of the bully who wants their child protected from their mistakes. 

“We’re not able to talk about their student just like as if you have shoes on the other foot, I can’t talk about your kid. I don’t get to share it,” Payne said he tells parents on the rare occasion that the issue comes up to the superintendent’s desk. 

There are times when the issues need to be addressed with a joint conference with the parents of both students involved in a bullying situation, Murray said. However, that can be difficult and parents need to show that they’re going to come to the conference with a mindset of solving the problem rather than to add fuel to the proverbial fire. It becomes a judgment call the principal has to make to ensure peace on campus.

Sensible intervention

To keep things from getting out of hand, Payne and Murray said they try to ensure that the work they do on a day-to-day basis keeps communication open. It’s about setting up children and their parents or guardians up for success when bullying becomes an issue.

“The work that we do every other day with that kid, and with that family, is what allows us to have a good quality conversation in that moment,” Murray said. 

With established communication, there are also the tools in place so that students have the tools they need to approach adults in a position to help them. Ephrata school staff are available, but parents can also report the incident through procedural channels if they don’t feel staff have responded sufficiently. The appropriate forms, as well as the formal anti-bullying policy, may be found at https://bit.ly/NOBULLYEPH. 

According to that policy, students who feel they’ve been bullied can report it to the district to seek relief from the situation. From there, an investigation into the issue occurs, according to the district’s policy. Within two days of receiving the report, the families of the students involved are informed, though the administration usually notifies the families in less time. Additionally, the policy allows for exceptions where the danger to the bullying victim may increase if the aggressor’s family is notified. 

During the investigation, the principal or other designee will interview the complainant, reported bully, review previous complaints involving either student and interview any witnesses available. Generally, the investigation should take no more than five days, unless special circumstances arise, and a notice will be sent out to the families within two days of the investigation concluding with the final information the district may share under the law. Discipline will then be issued as appropriate for the situation. 

Under Washington law, law enforcement may become involved in violent instances or if a police report is filed by families during the process. 

Murray and Payne said they work hard to make the process equitable and use it as a means to improve the situations for both the victim and the child accused of bullying. Identifying why a student is bullying and putting supports in place to help the student can prevent more instances of bullying. 

However, bullying prevention is a human issue, and so it’s imperfect and people make mistakes. Murray said he hopes parents will work with the administration when something doesn’t turn out right so that the issue can be better resolved.

“When we’ve missed the mark, we’re going to own it,” Murray said. “... We are imperfect people in a profession that expects perfection. And why — because we have people’s most valuable commodity, their kids. … We can never forget that. So, when a parent is tipped over because they feel like their kid was mistreated by an adult or a kid, let’s recognize that we have their most valuable commodity – their kid — and so if we can recognize those things, and we can value those things and build that trusting relationship, (then I can say) ‘I need you to trust me in this moment that I am going to do what’s in the best interest of not only your kiddo, but also the other kiddo, because, guess what, both kids need to learn and grow through this.’” 

    Bullying can happen at every level of education, whether it's at an elementary such as Grant Elementary, shown here, or at the high school or middle school levels. Across the spectrum of grade levels though, Ephrata schools work to ensure adults build relationships to help prevent bullying from getting out of hand.