THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Robles should have saved his response for the parking lot

Have you seen “Get Shorty”?

It’s a terrific movie, released in 1995 and littered with stars doing their very best gigs — John Travolta, Danny DeVito, Rene Russo and three really good actors who are no longer with us, James Gandolfini, Gene Hackman and Dennis Farina.

If you haven’t had the enjoyment of watching this flick, do so.

But that endorsement isn’t the reason “Get Shorty” is turning up here in a sports column.

Nope, it’s about one particular scene.

Chili Palmer (Travolta) is a slick and somehow lovable Miami mobster who specializes in collecting debts.

One afternoon at a local restaurant, fellow mob money man Bones Barboni (Farina) needs a coat because the weather has turned nippy — so he talks the manager into giving him a nice leather jacket he’s spotted on a rack.

That coat, unfortunately, belongs to Chili Palmer.

When things unravel, Chili discovers how his coat disappeared and decides to go see Bones.

Chili’s pal practically begs him not to rile up Bones, who is a psychopath even in mob circles.

Chili ignores the advice, walks straight into the posh apartment building where Bones lives, and rings the doorbell.

When Bones answers, Chili punches him square in the nose.

He takes the jacket and leaves.

GOT AN idea why I’ve done an amateur version of Siskel and Ebert here?

Right.

Absolutely right.

Victor Robles should have forgotten that craziness with the bat.

Instead, he goes quietly to first base, plays out the rest of the game like any other member of the Tacoma ballclub, then waits for Joey Estes in the parking lot and just drops him with a vicious right hook.

Maybe he tosses some sunflower seeds on the ground there, just to make sure that everyone gets the message.

OK, what I’m suggesting isn’t the nicest way for one professional baseball player to settle an argument with another pro.

Robles DID have reason to explode, though.

Estes unleashed a heater that would have conked off Vic’s head if he hadn’t spun around.

Blessedly, the ball hit his bat, but it was the third time Estes had hit him in less than a week.

At some point, you take it personally.

After injuring his shoulder back in April (making a brave and sensational catch in San Francisco), Robles has worked and worked to get back into the Mariners lineup.

He was finally cleared for rehab games to start on Aug. 12.

Tacoma was starting a weeklong series in Las Vegas, and in his first game with the Rainiers, Robles was hit TWICE.

Yes, by Estes.

Another Vegas pitcher drilled him the next day.

That makes four in the series — three by Estes — for a guy trying to get healthy.

Oh, and when Estes was pitching up in the bigs for Oakland last year, he hit Robles again.

Vic does crowd the plate, but not to any extreme. He was hit 11 times with the Mariners last season.

Estes’ last missile, which set off the fireworks from Victor, was a fastball straight at his head.

You can get killed by a pitch like that.

As for the furor that followed, anyone who has played sports at an elite level will feel some sympathy for Robles.

IT ALL would have settled back to Earth if Vic had just punched Estes in the parking lot.

Old-fashioned baseball, settling of scores.

Robles would not be facing a 10-game suspension, for one thing.

The punishment probably would have been worse if he hadn’t immediately issued a thorough and profound apology.

The suspension has to be served in the major leagues, by the way, which means Victor will miss critical games for Seattle once he’s done with minor league rehab.

Make no mistake: The Mariners need him back.

They might be running off in the AL West if Vic hadn’t missed most of the season.

Randy Arozarena is a useful offensive player, but he’s not a leadoff weapon — not like Robles.

Vic hit .328 in 77 games for the Mariners last year, rocking up to an .860 OPS and 153 OPS+ (which is a damned big boy number).

He also stole 30 bases in 31 tries.

It added up to a 3.1 WAR in less than half a season. That would work out to something like a 7 WAR for a full year, which was what Vic AND the Mariners were thinking about this season.

And Estes?

He would be able to watch next season’s All-Star Game with his friends on TV, and say: “Yeah, that’s Robles, the .320 hitter.

“He knocked out four of my teeth.”

Fair deal all around.

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Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press three times each week, normally Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”