THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: We're looking at you Sam

Let’s pretend the boss gives me a shout.

“We need a gangbusters look at this Seahawks-Rams game Thursday night,” he says. “More than just a dull scouting report. They’ve never had a couple of teams with 11 wins going head-to-head in this TV slot, and our readers will be hooked.

“I want you to get inside this thing, tell us what’s going to happen, and why.

“Can you rock a story like that, and do it in less than a thousand words?”

LOL.

His suggestion on the length made me laugh.

“What are you giggling about?” he said. “Isn’t that enough words to preview a football game?”

I was still chuckling.

“Absolutely,” I said, finally catching my breath. “If this one goes anything like the big money people think it will, I can write a drop-dead advance in five or six paragraphs, never mind a thousand words.

“We could match these two teams and throw in a useful look at Moby Dick in a thousand words.”

The boss was puzzled.

I have that effect on a lot of people — so it was only fair that I tried to explain this business of the Rams and Seahawks.

THE NFL is decided by quarterbacks.

The very top of the league belongs, by and large, to about a half-dozen elite QBs.

Yes, there’s parity across 20 or 25 teams these days, as teams find decent quarterbacks and surround them with blistering talent.

It’s hard to describe the athletes that combine ballet and violence in pro football.

If you spent one 15-minute quarter on the sideline, and watched these modern-day dinosaurs slam into each other, I suspect you’d choose to watch the rest of the game sipping cocktails in the owner’s suite.

OK, back to the issue of quarterbacks.

The better a team becomes, the further it advances toward the Holy Grail, the more spectacular a quarterback will be on the treasured list of stars making a half-billion dollars per year.

The best scout I’ve ever known put it this way: “You can build a really good team around a quarterback who is simply terrific.

“But the closer you get to the sharp end of the sword, the more unbelievable these guys have to be.

“Look at a list of quarterbacks who have won the Super Bowl since 2000.

“You’ll see a lot of quarterbacks who carried their teams to the Lombardi Trophy — but only one or two who managed to get along for the ride.”

That brings us to Thursday night, and serious head-butting between the Rams and Seahawks.

Both teams are 11-3, both have brilliant players everywhere, whichever wins the NFC West will be a worthy champ — and have a legit shot at the Super Bowl.

AS USUAL, the winner of this showdown will boast the best quarterback play.

It’s almost impossible to beat a team like the Rams or Seahawks without QB brilliance.

Now.

Looking at this brawl from 30,000 feet, you’d have to give the Rams a major advantage — since Matthew Stafford was traded to L.A. from the Lions in 2021, they promptly won a Super Bowl.

Some irony: Receiver Cooper Kupp was MVP of that Super Bowl, and he’s now with Seattle.

Meanwhile, Seahawks QB Sam Darnold came out of the darkness to join that elite list — and did so after several ugly seasons with the Jets.

He popped up in Minnesota a year ago, won 14 games — but lost two big ones at the finish, including a wild card rout to the Rams, who sacked him nine times.

Nine!

You all know that Darnold generally has been terrific so far this year, but once again he got a boot in the backside from the Rams (four interceptions, 21-19 loss).

It’s probably overkill to say that Sam NEEDS this win, but it would prove that the second half of his career is truly off and running.

Darnold will be without star left tackle Charles Cross, putting him in the pass rush crosshairs once again.

Still.

The great ones have almost always found a way.

So, here’s another shot for Darnold.

Understand this, with no doubt: Sam has the talent to win huge games.

He just has to do it.

Email: [email protected]

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press three times each week, normally Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On."