THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Zag fans could have a reason to dream big this March

The email was nearly soaked in tears.

A fan who fears the worst was off to an early start.

“The Zags are going to break my heart again,” he wrote. “I can feel it.”

This poor gentleman said he already had pain in his bones.

He admitted that there’s no way to run from his nightmare, that he can picture every shot that’s going to swallow him up —especially the 3-pointer that’s destined to rattle the rim and bounce away.

Even worse, he can close his eyes and see a 95-percent free throw shooter clank one off the back iron, his first miss in almost three months.

Noooooo!

Advice seems to be worthless for our stricken friend.

“Don’t tell me to find another team for my love,” he wrote. “I tried it and just about drove myself crazy.

“One season, I decided to go all in for North Carolina.

“Did they win the NCAA tournament?

“Of course they did, and I was sobbing into all that confetti, because Gonzaga was a better team and the officials gave the game away.

“Was I supposed to celebrate when my Zags were the REAL champ — but Carolina got the trophy?”

YES, HE’S the man in pain.

Suffering with the Zags again this year.

What’s the option?

Buy all sorts of Michigan sweaters and hats, just because those characters hammered Gonzaga by 40?

I think the hoops gods would see through my scam.

If I’m going to waste a few paychecks on clothing for another season, I might as well help pay for Mark Few’s wardrobe.

Or throw it into Gonzaga’s NIL fund.

You know what would happen, don’t you?

Sure.

The Zags women would shock UConn (my new favorite team) and win the national championship.

Ditto the soccer club, men AND women, who’d breeze to titles with talent imported together from France.

Perhaps the biggest stunner among all the success will come from men’s and women’s rowing — prompting accusations of tampering from the University of Washington.

“We’ve gotten out there and found some terrific athletes,” said Zags junior star Billy “Brutus” Banger.

“Just some sore losers over to the west.”

(OK, we’ve done some kidding around here about Gonzaga dominating elite Olympic sports. But there’s a change of conference coming this summer that might help make the Zags a true competitor — even if Brutus Banger is actually Mr. Fiction.)

Gonzaga is known globally for its basketball program, and other sports are spending time and money to follow in the footsteps of all those hoops victories.

Zags coaches and athletes hope to make a splash in mid-February, joining some of the best-known competitors (rowing and otherwise) at the Chula Vista Elite Training Center in southern California.

However.

Success won’t be new for several Gonzaga sports, including baseball, volleyball, golf, and track and field.

OK, there might be a tiny chuckle included in those rowers’ goals, but let’s add one serious note.

Gonzaga’s move to the Pac-12, long a home to Olympic level athletes, comes with the aim of joining that group in numerous sports.

MEANTIME, you never want to write off the Zags basketball program.

The odds remain against our poor soul who sent in an email while fighting off tears, but Gonzaga always has a chance.

Hey, the Zags are going to be good, good, good.

That’s a pretty sound guess, since Few has missed exactly zero NCAA tournaments in his 27 years on the bench.

He’s beaten Pepperdine 50 straight times.

You have to suspect, though, that winning it all will be tough.

But getting a powerhouse seed?

Reaching the Final Four?

Neither of those targets feel too far-fetched, bearing in mind that the Zags are 13-1 despite a rugged schedule — and Few’s gang are in the top 10 in every poll on Earth.

I still worry about our sad email correspondent.

It’s so easy to picture the Zags battling mighty Michigan right to the wire, then watching Graham Ike put up a soft and perfect jumper.

That shot should win the title, but suddenly, Michigan’s 7-foot-3 Aday Mara looms out of the lights — and knocks the ball away at the buzzer.

Heartbreak.

Again.

But … wait!!

Mara is called for goal tending!!

YES!!

YES!!

The world is a wonderful place.

Anyone have scissors to cut down those nets?

That guy can stop crying.

Email: [email protected]

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press three times each week, normally Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On."