THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: More needs than just the bats and arms for M's

It certainly wasn’t planned.

Still, the Mariners offered up an exhibition on Sunday afternoon.

They managed to display their two most critical weaknesses, and showed them off with the brightness of a thousand suns.

Witnesses at T-Mobile Park should have been warned about risking eye damage during what became an 11-3 eclipse.

Note to Jerry Dipoto: Forget about finding a few more home runs by adding veteran bats to those corner infield spots.

Try to solve the REAL nightmares.

No. 1: Defense.

No. 2: Depth in the bullpen.

Dipoto and his lieutenants do know about the problems, believe me.

Way back in spring training, a reporter asked Jerry where he might be hunting for more offense.

“We have a team built on great pitching,” Dipoto replied (before that spate of injuries struck his starting rotation).

“It might make more sense to lean into improving our run prevention, since that complements our most obvious strength.”

Aha.

So, where on the diamond can we find Seattle’s “plus” defenders?

Cal Raleigh behind the plate, Julio Rodriguez in center and Ben Williamson at third (when he’s in the lineup).

Elsewhere?

Nada.

YOU CAN check the various sources that publish advanced baseball metrics, or simply use your eyes.

Either way, you’ll find that this is a terrible defensive team, the kind that blows critical games — like the ones that kick a playoff run square in the teeth.

The Mariners had a real chance to sweep Houston over the weekend, thus hauling themselves within two games of the Astros.

Instead, well, we could frame Sunday’s fifth inning and ship it to the Louvre.

If this were a train wreck on canvas, it would lap the field like the Mona Lisa in the Italian Renaissance category.

If you can stand it, let’s recap.

Bryan Woo had Houston by the throat with a 3-0 lead entering that fateful fifth.

Woo uncharacteristically walked Taylor Trammell (and his .137 batting average) to open the inning.

Mauricio Dubon followed with a liner to left that Randy Arozarena misjudged so badly that the ball almost hit him on the toe.

Single.

Cooper Hummel (BA .169) hit a routine grounder to second, where Jorge Polanco — why exactly was he playing instead of Cole Young? — delivered a slow, looping toss to second that took a shade too long.

J.P. Crawford’s relay couldn’t quite finish the double play.

Next, Shay Whitcomb (BA .087) popped a little flare to short left field.

Crawford cruised back, got the range … and dropped it.

That made it 3-1, and with two runners still on, Cam Smith tied the game with a double to right.

It was hit high and short of the wall, but Dom Canzone staggered back and missed it.

Arozarena and Canzone are both productive hitters, but out on the grass, they take routes backwards like Friday night partiers looking for the men’s room.

Arozarena has made some throws toward home plate that nearly reached the press box.

That fifth inning exposed almost all the Mariners’ defensive woes.

To most fans, at least, the surprise is Crawford.

J.P. is hugely popular, a terrific leadoff hitter and he seems so graceful — but by every metric in the sport, he grades out defensively as the worst everyday shortstop in MLB.

Or close to it.

AFTER that dispiriting fifth inning gave Houston life and a 3-3 tie on Sunday, the Mariners suddenly had two serious issues.

First: The Astros, even with a platoon of stars out injured, still claw out wins via their championship pedigree.

Christian Walker and Trammell each homered in the sixth to make it 5-3, and the floodgates opened from there.

Second: M’s manager Dan Wilson had to roll the dice with some of his low-leverage relievers.

These are the box-of-chocolates guys, from whom you never know what you’ll get.

On Sunday, it was Casey Legumina and Juan Burgos who got touched up for the final six runs over three innings.

If Wilson calls to the pen for anyone besides Andres Munoz, Matt Brash or Gabe Speier, it’s advisable to hold your breath.

Oh, Eduard Bazardo has been surprisingly solid, and Carlos (Mr. Gas) Vargas so far hasn’t imploded.

OK, not TOO often.

But overall, this is not a cast that’s going to blow through the season’s final month and then the playoffs.

That’s when starters just go five, and managers need a half-dozen relievers available, remember?

Surely, Dipoto can buy/claim/kidnap/trade to obtain two or three solid veterans for the pen.

Can’t he?

As for the defense, the Mariners need serious surgery.

I’m sorry, but that’s a 2026 project.

In the meantime, the pitchers have to be SO good that they can manage to get every ball hit to third base or center field.

Yikes!

Email: [email protected]

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press three times each week, normally Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”