After nasty note, veteran raises awareness of invisible disabilities
KAYE THORNBRUGH | Hagadone News Network | UPDATED 6 months, 3 weeks AGO
Kaye Thornbrugh is a second-generation Kootenai County resident who has been with the Coeur d’Alene Press for six years. She primarily covers Kootenai County’s government, as well as law enforcement, the legal system and North Idaho College. | June 1, 2025 1:07 AM
COEUR d’ALENE — When Bethany Stanley returned to her car after shopping at a supermarket this week, the disabled veteran was surprised to see a bright orange card on her windshield that said she “sucks” at parking.
She was doubly surprised to flip over the card and see that the person who left it had accused her of parking in a disabled spot without a placard. The individual also wrote an insulting message, punctuated with an expletive, calling her “lazy.”
Stanley and her husband, who is also a disabled veteran, recently moved from Pocatello to Coeur d’Alene.
“We love the area,” she said. “We love the patriotism. We love the veteran support.”
That’s why she was stunned to receive the nasty note, despite the license plate on her car identifying her as a disabled veteran.
Under Idaho law, any motor vehicle displaying special license plates for a disabled person is allowed to park in spaces and zones designated for disabled people. It’s not necessary to display a special placard in addition to the license plate.
Stanley said the note hit her unexpectedly hard because she received it during a painful time of year, the week between Memorial Day and the impending 20-year anniversary of the combat trauma that changed her life.
“I’m sure if I had gotten this at any other time of year, it wouldn’t be such a big deal,” she said, adding that the note left her shaken.
Stanley joined the Idaho Army National Guard in February 2002, on the heels of the Sept. 11 attacks.
She was serving as a combat medic in Kirkuk, Iraq, on June 5, 2005, the day an improvised explosive detonated and hit the convoy vehicle behind the one in which she was riding.
“It could’ve easily been us,” she said.
Stanley and another medic struggled to get out of their vehicle so they could reach Spc. Carrie L. French, a 19-year-old from Caldwell who was injured in the blast. French died from her injuries.
“I couldn’t save her,” Stanley said.
Stanley said she lives with post-traumatic stress disorder, as well as physical problems that stem from her service. Like many disabled veterans, she said, her wounds appear invisible to others, but they affect her daily.
“There’s so much that happens in combat that people don’t understand because they’ve never been in that situation,” she said.
She said she hopes that increased awareness about license plates for disabled veterans and Idaho law on disabled parking will prevent another veteran from receiving a similar shock.
“If you’re a disabled combat vet, all you want to do is go home and live in peace and know that you don’t always have to be looking over your shoulder,” she said.
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