“The violence is not going got go away. That’s what we try to help our survivors see.” - Suzi Fode, New Hope Director 

MOSES LAKE — More than 500 people find help at New Hope on an annual basis as they work to escape domestic violence situations and abusive relationships that can often feel like traps they’ve fallen into. Fear of the unknown, psychological challenges and fear of homelessness are all factors that can add to that feeling of being trapped. 

New Hope’s focus isn’t specifically on people dealing with homelessness, said New Hope Director Suzi Fode, but it can offer a place for people who can’t safely go anywhere else. 

“It's a confidential shelter where people are safe and protected and anonymous,” Fode said. “It's a safe place where folks can go to maybe find some respite from the violence, get to feeling safe again and hopefully work with an advocate who can help build their confidence and maybe help them figure out what's next.” 

The shelter is an ordinary home, not a homeless shelter in the usual sense of the word. Rather, it’s an emergency stopgap, part of the larger range of services New Hope provides for victims of domestic violence or sexual assault. 

“Our shelter is only for those who are in immediate danger fleeing domestic violence,” Fode said. “Let's say you were in a domestic violence situation six years ago, and that relationship is done (and) you're carrying on with your life. You can't just come here and say, ‘I've been a victim of domestic violence.’ That is true, but you're not in immediate danger.” 

Each family gets a bedroom, said Tara Dieng, legal and community advocate for New Hope, who oversees the shelter. New Hope provides the staples for the pantry and fridge, and there’s a bin where clients can keep comfort foods and the like that they’ve purchased themselves. Since many clients arrive with only the clothes on their backs, there’s a supply of clothing in the garage they can look through and the local Rotary Club donated a children’s playground set for the back yard. 

“Sometimes (clients) are a little bit hesitant because they have a preconceived idea in their head about what a shelter may look like, and they're picturing a gymnasium with bunk beds or something like that,” Dieng said. “But our shelter is literally an average house in an average neighborhood.” 

The location is so secret even most law enforcement officers don’t know where it is, Dieng said. A client may come to the New Hope office in a variety of ways — a friend, a police officer or by themselves — but a member of New Hope’s staff will bring them to the house. The staff is careful about things like location tracking on cell phones or clients posting to social media, because abusers often use those tools to track down their victims. 

“In situations where you know they're co-parenting, we always recommend that if it's the other parent’s visitation you meet at a location that's safe. You make sure that you're not followed back to the shelter location (and) don't take the same routes every time,” Dieng said.  

Once the danger has passed, New Hope has resources to help the client find a permanent place, Dieng said. They work with agencies like the Grant County Housing Authority to secure housing, can help clients with housing applications and sometimes with application fees. 

“Last year our average stay was 12 days,” Fode said. “I think we have good resources for permanent housing … (The shelter) provides some respite and some time to find quiet and dissolve the chaos that's around them. Then, (they can) think about permanent housing, and that's what an advocate can help do.” 

This is by no means a rare situation, Fode said. One in four women in the United States experiences domestic violence, and in Washington, that occurrence rises to one in three. Those people don’t always show up at New Hope for help, she said, or at least not right away. The average domestic violence victim returns to their abuser seven times before leaving for good. 

“In a majority of the cases, we aren't the first resource people reach out to,” Fode said. “When you're in a situation where you're facing your own personal safety (and that) of your children, you're going to reach out to your family, your best friend, your sister, long before you call us. Hopefully, those resources who surround that victim will tell them, ‘Hey, there's an advocate at New Hope. Let's go together, check things out and see what they offer for your situation.’ But most of the time we’re fourth, fifth, sixth down the list.” 

Often the abuser has isolated the victim for so long that they’re alienated from their family and friends, and sometimes the victim is afraid to take any action for fear the retaliation will be worse than the usual abuse, Fode said.  

“What we see with intimate partner violence is that over time, the violence escalates, and we end up in a situation where lethality is involved,” Fode said. “The violence is not going got go away. That’s what we try to help our survivors see.” 

Where to turn 

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, don’t wait any longer. Here’s where to get help: 

• New Hope 24-hour hotline: 888-560-6027

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline: call, chat, or text 24 hours everyday, 800-799-7233 or 800-787-3224 (TTY) Text "Start" to 88788

• Teen Dating Violence Hotline: call, chat, or text 24 hours everyday, 866-331-9474

• The StrongHearts Native Helpline: call or chat 24 hours everyday, 844-762-8483

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline Deaf Services: call 24 hours everyday 855-812-1001 (videophone) or 800-787-3224 (TTY), and live chat 24 hours everyday