THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: No matter where they are, don't just hand the A's anything

Every little thing.

That, my friends, must be the Mariners’ calling card.

If our heroes of the Northwest hope to play October baseball, perhaps even ending their pitiful World Series drought, they must live by those three words.

Maybe tattoo them on the inside of their eyelids.

Every.

Little.

Thing.

On Monday night, the forgetful party was manager Dan Wilson, who lost touch with common sense in the 11th inning.

Wilson is still learning this gig, which can be the only reason he handed the Athletics an invitation to win a long and surprisingly dramatic game.

The A’s gleefully hit the RSVP button, with Jacob Wilson whacking a sharp single to center that won the 7-6 marathon.

“It’s on me,” the manager admitted straightaway afterwards.

You had to wonder if he could have been surprised, since it was Jacob Wilson’s third RBI single of the night — each looking like a carbon copy of the last.

Dan Wilson is such a nice guy that nobody wants to tee him up, even for obvious blunders.

Still.

The TV pair of Aaron Goldsmith and Angie Mentink hemmed and hawed politely, trying out phrases like, “The Mariners must have had a plan there.”

NO ONE, however, could guess what that plan might have been.

The Athletics had the winning run on third base with one out, when Casey Legumina was instructed to walk catcher Shea Langeliers.

OK, that added the possibility of a force play at second, even a double play if a ball were hit straight at somebody.

Next, Wilson also had Legumina walk outfielder JJ Bleday to load the bases.

That decision thus pitted Legumina — probably Seattle’s fifth- or sixth-best reliever — against Jacob Wilson, who was not only driving in runs all night but is probably the best contact hitter in MLB.

The Mariners moved the infield in close, adding to the danger from Wilson, who is hitting .341 so far — oh, and .451 with runners in scoring position.

The A’s shortstop was almost a total cinch to hit the ball somewhere, since his bat-to-ball skills are matched only by his desire for contact — as evidenced by the fact that he’s only walked five times in 184 plate appearances, and his first free pass came on April 22.

He had only struck out six times, as well.

Everything about Dan Wilson’s strategy in this fateful inning was odd.

He claimed they wanted a double play, but brought the infield in, meaning that if they DID coax a ground ball from Wilson, the throw would have to come to the plate.

Basically, the M’s were trying to win the lottery, and like most people who rely on luck for a quick fortune, they wound up tossing that ticket into the nearest garbage can.

For a team that’s been beset by injuries, and HAS to do “every little thing” properly, this was a pretty grim night.

MAKE NO mistake, however.

There might have been a time (even recently) when you could have bumbled around and still survived with a win over the Athletics.

Not now.

The Athletics are no longer a laughing stock, even though the minor league ballpark in West Sacramento is a joke.

Major league games should be banned from venues like this one.

MLB owners caved in, allowing A’s owner John Fisher to strike a deal that allowed his athletes to spend three years playing in the comfort of several thousand degrees — by far, the hottest baseball park until somebody moves a team to the face of the sun.

Don’t laugh.

If the money’s right, they’d do it.

Meanwhile, the A’s will make do with an exciting young roster until the eventual move to Las Vegas.

(Fill in your line about the face of the sun.)

Fisher reluctantly signed veteran starter Luis Severino to a two-year deal worth $45 million (with a player option for a third season), presumably to prove he cares about the team enough to continue as a partner with his fellow greed merchants.

Fans left behind in Oakland might disagree.

No matter how sleazy Fisher’s antics have been, he has a competitive, aggressive team that’s no fun to visit.

You don’t want to hand them a break.

Not in the 11th inning, not ever.

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Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press three times each week, normally Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”