THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: We need a ruling on some of these silly rules

Rules.

We have to live with them, in life and in sports.

I can deal with that.

But I do have a problem with rules that are, well, stupid.

OK, a sports columnist isn’t going to have much audience while babbling on about highway speed limits in Croatia.

Or a zillion other rules put in place by Croatian law enforcement officials or … you get the point.

In sports, though, folks in this business have a right (more or less) to speak up if something doesn’t make sense.

So.

I want to do some bitching today.

Let’s start with the famous (or infamous) “Tush Push,” the crazy quarterback sneak made historic by the Philadelphia Eagles.

All the Eagles offensive players, along with some water boys, four fat volunteers and half the city of Philadelphia heave and shove until quarterback Jalen Hurts has “progressed” the necessary yard for a first down (or touchdown).

NFL owners voted last week on banning the play, which actually looks like a highlight from an England-New Zealand rugby match.

The vote failed, barely, leaving Philly to face South Africa in the next round.

HEY, IT’S not necessary to burn the Great Gridiron Rulebook to dump the tush push, in case you’re a strict traditionalist.

Just return to 2004.

Until then, it was illegal for an offensive player to aid a ball carrier in any way whatsoever.

Once you got the rock, you were on your own.

None of this nonsense where a 360-pound offensive tackle runs 10 or 15 yards to build up steam and shove a pile of bodies about a half-yard.

And leave a couple of guys hospitalized.

I have no idea why the NFL decided to change things for the ’05 season, making it legal to “assist” a ballcarrier.

Silly.

Now that we’ve got the “tush push” in the playbook, why not suit up a guy the size of a jockey, hand him the ball on the 3-yard line and THROW him into the end zone?

Be great for TV audiences, no?

Right, we’ve now explained the fraudulence of the Eagles displaying what 22 guys trying to get that last seat on a Tokyo subway looks like.

Moving along to basketball.

It gives me a Force-10 headache to watch the final few seconds of a game where the margin is three points.

On Monday night, Oklahoma City (and homeboy Chet Holmgren) led Minnesota by three with eight seconds remaining.

Rather than let the Wolves have a shot to tie things with a 3-ball, the Thunder immediately fouled when the ball was thrown inbounds.

So, we had two free throws, margin cut to one, and then it was Minny’s turn to foul.

Back to three points.

OKC fouled again.

Aaaaaarrgh!

Good grief, I’d rather watch paint dry.

The truly absurd part of this is that the NBA “almost” has a rule against what was going on in Oklahoma.

I say “almost” because if a player steals the ball or gets free in the open court some other way, there’s a stiffer penalty for blatantly fouling that dude before he can cruise in for a dunk.

It’s called the “transition take” foul for some reason, but that doesn’t matter.

What’s important is the penalty.

YEP, THE call in this case is an intentional foul.

The offensive team (the player heading for the hoop) gets one free throw AND retains possession of the ball.

Not only that, but the team that was fouled can pick anyone on the floor to take the free throw.

Now, explain to me why that intentional foul rule doesn’t apply to a player blatantly preventing someone from taking a 3-point shot.

In both cases, the defense is NOT going for the ball.

The only goal is to halt play.

If the free throw-plus-possession applied in both cases, teams wouldn’t bother to foul simply to prevent a 3-point attempt.

It wouldn’t help.

No way at all.

In other words, the NBA has the correct rule in place already — but it’s only applied in certain cases, and not others.

Apologies, but that’s beyond silly.

My final turn on the soap box today doesn’t actually involve a rule, but how some important calls are made … in baseball.

Here is the goofiest single phrase in a sport that has lots of them: “That play is not reviewable.”

No?

Why not?

You have six thousand cameras at every stadium, and a platoon of people in New York (or on Mars) going over every split-second of tape.  

This solution is easy, because EVERY play should be reviewable.

Next season, Hawk-Eye technology will allow for challenges on ball-strike calls.

And you’re telling me that there are STILL some plays that are non-reviewable?

C’mon.

That’s a joke.

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Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press three times each week, normally Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”