I fixed something. 

It doesn’t happen often, so when it does, I like to announce it. In a tribute to my favorite anchorman, Ron Burgundy, it’s kind of a big deal. 

The upstairs toilet in our house hadn’t been working for a few weeks because the inside guts of the tank needed to be replaced. I bought the parts, but when I ran into a bit of difficulty on the job, I decided there was no hurry. Maybe later. After all, we have a downstairs bathroom.

So the broken toilet sat. And sat.  

My wife, tired of my procrastination and my ability to find more enjoyable things to do like go running, decided to do it herself, removed the tank and in doing so, discovered it had a crack. While I would have just ignored it, she went to Home Depot and bought a new toilet and the parts to put it in. 

When I came home from work Wednesday night, everything I needed was there. I had no more excuses. Besides, if I didn’t do it, my wife was going to, and I couldn’t have people knowing she put in the toilet because I was too lazy. I'm supposed to be the man of the house, right?

It went well. Easy, really. Took about 30 minutes and we were back in business. I even carried away the old toilet bowl and it now sits in our backyard. 

While some men can claim the “handyman” title, I cannot. When repairs need to be made, it’s rare I can do them. 

That’s why closet doors that come off their hinges are not put back up. Or leaky faucets remain leaky faucets. Or the latch on the back gate doesn’t latch. 

My father did not raise a Mr. Fix-it, though he did pass down the habit of collecting random tools for repairs we will never make. 

Not that I haven’t had moments of victory. 

With help from neighbors and sons, I managed to tear off the old cedar shingles of our garage roof and borrowed a nail gun so I could put on asphalt shingles.  

I’ve replaced spark plugs, starters and alternators on our cars, changed the oil and anti-freeze, even figured out the reason my wife’s car wouldn’t start one winter night last year was because it had a dead battery. 

I’ve painted the house, cleaned the gutters, trimmed trees and have gotten pretty good at replacing the furnace thermocouple unit. 

As long as it's not rocket science, I have a chance.

But if you’re talking serious stuff, like remodeling a kitchen, building a deck or hanging drywall, you don’t want me on your team. 

Anyway, we should be good now at home. There’s nothing I know of that needs fixing right away.  

Unless you count the oven. 

But that only stopped working last week, so I've got some time.

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Bill Buley is managing editor of The Press. He can be reached at [email protected].