THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Think you could run the Mariners? Here's your chance

Let’s say you’re Jerry Dipoto.

Forget about the, uh, slight changes in everyone’s family life.

You can still root for your son, who’s pitching in the Royals’ system. In a perfect world, he’ll find a new pitch and go on to have a better career than you managed.

The point in this sci-fi thriller is that you suddenly would get to oversee the Mariners transactions.

You’ve been telling all your pals at the pub that you could run the club better than Jerry — so, hey, now’s your chance, Bubba.

Take this baseball team, fix it and go crazy.

You DO need to remember that the Mariners came within five outs of the World Series last season, so despite this current sluggish start, the bar is pretty high.

Don’t ask for a five-year plan to cut down on strikeouts, either.

You want Jerry’s job?

OK, then you’re inheriting the gig just as it is, with Cal Raleigh lost at home plate and some fans hollering that you got fleeced in the Josh Naylor deal.

And, by the way, Brendan Donovan just went on the IL with a groin issue, so your repair work starts immediately.

Get to work, big fella.

I’VE GOT some thoughts for you, actually.

Oh, but just like Jerry, you’ll be too busy to take a call from some hot shot over in Coeur d’Alene.

Who is this Cameron guy, anyhow?

What would HE know about club control in a trade?

We’ve got a great staff right here, on the field and off it, and some solid ideas about where we’re headed.

Nah, we’re not bringing up Colt Emerson, no matter how many season ticket-holders stand outside the ballpark and beg.

Colt is off to fair — but not blazing —start in Tacoma, and he looks just the way you’d expect as a gifted 20-year-old ballplayer who’s still learning the sport.

In 18 games, he’s hitting .258 with a nice .813 OPS, two home runs, six doubles, six stolen bases and eight walks (but 19 strikeouts).

In other words, his numbers don’t scream out, “I’m ready!”

They’re not disappointing, either, but something to keep in mind is that Colt is dealing with a sore wrist.

With a young man like this, you hope you’re bringing him up to be a long-term part of the infield, as a key to the club’s overall success.

If you’re going to inherit Dipoto’s job, you’ve got to know the pros and cons of your decisions.

Especially the big ones.

If you don’t hurry a prospect like Colt Emerson to The Show, there will be moaning among the team’s supporters.

True enough.

But.

There’s an old saying known to every baseball executive: “If you make decisions for the fans, you’ll wind up being one.”

Call up Colt just to hear the applause, and there’s a chance you could finish the season writing columns in North Idaho.

Are we square on that?

YOU CAN always kick-start your new job with a trade.

That always flies with the roaring masses.

Maybe you can even find a player that the fans don’t like, and move him for a guy who’s a cinch to be popular.

To be fair, maybe you’ll have the knack for it.

We’ve agreed that the Mariners DO have an outstanding staff, with sharp scouts and personnel who routinely get the most out of the roster (and the prospects who sometimes get missed by other teams).

To make a deal that will please the fans — and still MAYBE benefit both teams — ring up A.J. Preller in San Diego.

Preller is trigger-happy and clever, besides.

He once had Luis Castillo on his club for two days before the league reversed the deal.

Turned out, A.J. had two sets of medical records.

Anyhow.

He’ll trade you some talent, like Andres Munoz and Matt Brash.

Assorted other ex-Prellers: Austin Riley, Trea Turner, James Wood, Brent Rooker.

I’m skipping too many, but here are some pitchers: Max Fried, MacKenzie Gore, Zach Eflin, Emmanuel Clase, David Bednar, Phil Maton, Joe Ross.

A.J. even had a pinch-runner with a “For Sale” sign at his locker: Esteury Ruiz.

Right, there’s your start, Bubba.

Call Preller, call everybody.

But not Colt Emerson.

Just yet.

Email: [email protected]

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press three times each week, normally Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On."