FAST FIVE Ben Morton: You can’t think your way to kindness — you do it

DEVIN WEEKS | Hagadone News Network | UPDATED 9 hours, 13 minutes AGO

Courtesy photo

Meet Ben Morton, a volunteer for the North Idaho Kindness Project.

For over one quarter of his life Ben has lived in North Idaho, where he met his wife, Dani. They live in Coeur d’Alene with their cat Loki and dog Penny. When he isn’t volunteering for the North Idaho Kindness Project or Friends of Tubbs Hill, Ben enjoys being the sous chef and dishwasher for his wife’s delicious home-cooked meals. You’ll often find Ben walking Penny around town or teaching at Lewis-Clark State College in Coeur d’Alene.

1) How would you describe the North Idaho Kindness Project?

The simplest way to describe the North Idaho Kindness Project is that we provide opportunities for people to be kind to one another. Our biggest project of the year is Kindness Cards, where volunteers create over 3,000 cards that are anonymously sent to nominated recipients all over North Idaho. More recently we began spreading Kindness Tokens throughout the community. Kindness Tokens are given to people you believe did something kind, and they are asked to pass it on to another person who did something kind, and so on. In just a few short months, we distributed almost all of the 1,000 tokens from our first printing. It appears there is a lot of kindness out there, and running out of these tokens is a good problem to have!

2) Why does our area, or any area, need an organization that focuses on spreading positivity and combating hate?

I suppose a community could survive without kindness. We don’t need to be kind, just as Coeur d’Alene doesn’t need the breathtaking sunset views from the west side of Tubbs Hill, the gorgeous North Idaho College campus and its surrounding beaches or a long pedestrian path down Coeur d’Alene Lake Drive where you might see a dozen or more bald eagles in the winter. We would still be here without those things. But I’ll be damned if they, and the kind people in our town, don’t make life more beautiful.

There is a study by Dan Ariely, an honesty researcher, that tried to decrease the rates of students cheating on exams. The study experimented with all sorts of strategies from threatening to punish students to offering them money not to cheat. Do you know what had the biggest decrease in rates of cheating? It was a simple reminder, signed by students before taking the exam, that dishonesty and cheating go against the school’s honor code. Like cheaters, most people who are hateful or hurtful often think no one is watching or that they have no other option. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that our moral self is watching; that we are capable of good and that being kind is one of our options.

3) How does the North Idaho Kindness Project speak to your heart?

My day job is teaching communication at Lewis-Clark State, and we spend a lot of time investigating how to make interpersonal, marketing and media messages more effective. I’ve taught for over 20 years, and research continues to show that positive or kind communication is good not only for those on the receiving end, but it actually has even more positive benefits for the person giving kindness. If you’re a selfish person, you might try being kind because you’ll reap more of the benefits!

In fact, it’s funny that you ask how kindness speaks to my heart. A combined analysis of over 40 research studies involving more than 6,000 people revealed that kind communication's most significant benefit is on heart health. We’re not talking about a metaphorical heart here, but the beating organ in your chest that keeps you alive. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, heart disease is currently the No. 1 cause of death in the United States. Being kind literally saves lives, and research shows that it speaks to all of our hearts.

4) What is something people would be surprised to know about you?

With all this talk about being kind, you might be surprised to learn that this teacher was once a bully. Like many sixth graders, I made fun of others as a way to fit in with my friends and show them whose team I was on. One day I was called in to the school counselor, where I was confronted by one of my classmates. He talked though his tears as he told the counselor he feared coming to school each day because of me. My heart sank. It was the first time I realized that my actions could change someone’s life in a bad way. When my mom found out, she told me something that has stuck with me ever since. “You never know if who you meet is an angel.” At the time I thought what she said was meant as a punishment, but it has proven to be a lifelong form of rehabilitation. I’ve seen a lot of angels since that day.

5) What are some ways we can be kinder to each other, as individuals, as a community and as a country?

There are only two requirements to be kind, and it applies equally to individuals, communities and countries. (1) An action that (2) gives to others more than is necessary. You can’t think your way to kindness. You do it. Beyond that, there are no rules. Many people in our community have inspired me to be kind, and I hope they inspire you, too.

Some people give their time. Ali Orjala (a business owner and mother of two) and Shawn Keenan (who volunteers in countless community organizations) somehow found the bandwidth to start Coeur d'Alene's chapter of Love Lives Here, which soon turned into the North Idaho Kindness Project. Additionally, there are other less organized ways to be kind. My retired neighbor, Ron, walks around our block with a plastic grocery bag and picks up loose trash on the street. No one asked Ron to do it, but now when I see trash I can’t help but pitch in.

Others give their talents or resources. Coeur d’Alene lawyer and hero, Norm Gissel, worked pro bono for two years on the impactful Keenan vs. Aryan Nations case. On top of that, legend has it that Gissel devoted two free hours each day in his law practice, nearly one quarter of his working life, giving to those who otherwise could not afford an attorney. These acts aren’t necessary, but they give me goosebumps and remind me to be kind in the ways I can, with the resources I have.

If you’re interested in giving more than necessary, the North Idaho Kindness Project invites you to participate in our upcoming Kindness Cards campaign. You can sign up to write kindness cards and/or nominate people to receive them on our website, northidahokindnessproject.org. We will be sending out thousands of cards, and we could really use your help. And remember, it’s not just good for your neighbors, it’s good for your health!

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Do you know someone in Kootenai County who makes our community awesome? Send Fast Five suggestions to Devin Weeks, [email protected], to highlight locals who contribute their time and talents to make North Idaho such a special place.