Compliments can go a long way

I read a story in the Washington Post about 9-year-old Ethan Wargo, who set up a “compliments stand” in the front yard of his home in Sycamore, Ill. He offers sincere compliments to anyone who stops by.

“I want to give out something good that will make them have a big smile on their face,” Ethan said.

His compliments are complimentary, but he does get several tips, and many people have returned multiple times.

National Compliment Day is an unofficial holiday that falls annually Jan. 24. The purpose of this holiday is to say something nice to your friends, family and co-workers. 

Compliments are so important that a second day of recognition occurs every March 1: World Compliment Day.

Research has shown that giving compliments can have a significant impact on both the giver and the receiver. For example, compliments can improve the mood of the recipient, making them feel more appreciated and valued. Compliments also improve the mood of the giver, as the act of expressing praise can lead to a sense of satisfaction and happiness.

Compliments also motivate people. If you tell someone they are doing a great job, it motivates them to work even harder and do a better job, increasing productivity. Employees are more inclined to maintain or improve their performance when they know their efforts are noticed and valued. Regularly giving positive feedback fosters a supportive and positive workplace culture. It encourages open communication and strengthens team dynamics.

My friend, Alan Mulally, the former CEO of the Ford Motor Company, said, “It’s all about appreciating them (employees), respecting them and thanking them at every step of the way.” 

Compliments can reduce anxiety about talking to strangers and the potential for negative reactions, which can be a barrier to giving compliments. Compliments can also increase self-esteem and confidence, as they help the giver recognize and appreciate positive qualities of others.

In addition, compliments can increase stress resilience and physical health, helping individuals cope with stress better. Research shows the amount of positive versus negative emotions people experience is a surprisingly big predictor of health.

These findings underscore the importance of giving compliments as a positive practice that can enhance well-being and strengthen social connections.

Compliments are a powerful social and work-related tool. If you want to make a positive impression at work, be generous with compliments. Show appreciation to co-workers (and even your boss) for their good work. When giving compliments, the more specific, the better. This shows you notice the little things.  

Compliments not only reassure people, but they also create positive energy, strengthen relationships and build trust. They are a sign of respect.

You don’t need to be an expert at giving compliments. You just need to be sincere and genuine. Many people know how to flatter, and few know how to praise. Sincere praise reassures individuals. It helps them neutralize doubts they have about themselves. Just remember, the sweetest of all sounds is praise. Silent gratitude isn’t very much use to anyone. 

Here are some tips for giving positive compliments:

• Be specific: Instead of general praise, focus on specific actions or achievements. This makes the compliment more meaningful and shows that you are paying attention.

• Be genuine: Ensure your compliments are sincere. People can usually tell when praise is not authentic, which can undermine trust.

• Be timely: Offer compliments soon after the achievement or action. Timely recognition reinforces the behavior you want to encourage.

• Balance praise: While it's important to give positive feedback, make sure that it's balanced with constructive criticism when necessary. This helps maintain credibility and encourages continuous improvement.

When you are on the receiving end of a sincere compliment, be gracious in accepting it. A simple “thank you” is sufficient. While accepting praise might feel embarrassing, understand that it was offered to acknowledge your contributions. And even if the recognition seems a little confusing, be grateful for the spirit in which it was offered. 

Here’s a final story to illustrate my point. A young mother was putting moisturizer on her face when her little girl asked what she was doing. Trying to enlighten her daughter concerning beauty secrets, she told her that the cream was good for wrinkles.

“It’s sure doing a great job, Mommy,” she replied. “You’re getting lots of wrinkles.”

Mackay’s Moral: Compliments do wonders for our sense of hearing.

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Harvey Mackay is the author of the New York Times bestseller "Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive." He can be reached through his website, www.harveymackay.com, by emailing [email protected] or by writing him at MackayMitchell Envelope Co., 2100 Elm St. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414.