The scars Sydney Reep-McKinnon's family has gone through aren’t all physical. 

Some are etched on their face after sleepless nights. Some are bad habits used to cope with stress during extended hospital stays. 

However, after years of caring for their daughter, Harper Beare, through leukemia and other medical conditions, the light is shining on Reep-McKinnon's life once again.   

Nine years ago, when they became pregnant with Harper, the illnesses that plagued much of the early years seemed like they would never end. 

Instead, Harper’s diagnosis of leukemia at 10 months old led Reep-McKinnon on a journey of self-discovery and a calling to become a nurse. 

“Harper was always my study buddy,” they said. 

Harper had only been given a 40% chance to survive and had immediately been bumped to the top of the list for clinical trials to save her life.   

During treatments, they stayed at the Ronald McDonald House, with family members getting concerned as remission seemed out of reach. 

“She was a medical mystery,” Reep-McKinnon said. 

Harper’s second birthday came and went while they stayed in hospitals and Reep-McKinnon tried to focus on the present and dream bigger until doctors could assure the family more was possible. 

“It was a lot,” Reep-McKinnon said. “That was the summer I thought we were going to lose her.” 

Harper couldn’t come off immune suppression because her leukemia was so aggressive. 

Harper, slowly growing into an intelligent and precocious child, was able to carry on through countless procedures and complications.

After years of medical issues, she finally rang the bell at 5 years old. 

The time Harper spent in pediatric oncology took its toll on the family, however. Reep-McKinnon found that turning to alcohol was becoming a crutch that had started out as a coping mechanism.  

The two moved in with family to try and recover mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

“I felt like I had just stepped off a fast-moving train,” Reep-McKinnon said. 

Survivor’s guilt plagued Reep-McKinnon for many of Harper’s friends who never got a chance to grow up. 

Reep-McKinnon started work on getting a degree form NIC, reconnected with making art and joined AA. 

“I wanted to do something in honor of them and I took them everywhere with me,” they said. 

Doing hospice work for a friend’s grandfather eased some of the grief and guilt they felt and gave them a new way to think about life and death.    

"I got to be present for the death and see it from another point of view. There’s a lot of aches that happens in the world and nobody’s exempt from pain and nobody’s exempt from death,” Reep-McKinnon said. “It’s important that we fully experience what it means to be human.”      

Two major milestones are taking place this summer, in-person nursing graduation from Nightingale College in Utah and getting married to Conner McKinnon. 

The graduation ceremony is scheduled for the 10-year anniversary of Harper’s cancer diagnosis, Aug. 21. 

Having a career centered around helping was always the goal, but after taking their daughter through leukemia and other battles with medical crises, the academic goal to go into early childhood development gave way to becoming a CNA and nurse. 

They are working as a night shift CNA at Kootenai Health and will become a float nurse in the fall.   

“Health care kind of runs in my blood,” Reep-McKinnon said. 

    Harper Beare and Sydney Reep-McKinnon celebrate virtual graduation from the nursing program at Nightengale College.

    Evelyn McKinnon, Harper Beare and Sydney Reep-McKinnon pile onto Conner McKinnon and another in a family photo. Conner and Sydney are getting married later this month.

    Artwork Sydney Reep-McKinnon made of their daughter Harper holding balloons with the names of her friends who died while she was in treatment: Kaine, Thomas, Micah, Quintin, LJ and Gabe.