Confessions of a faux flower fan

Our yard is beautiful and well-tended by my lawn-whisperer husband, Bert. Yes, I married well. We’ve lived in this home since 1987, and every tree, shrub and blade of grass is the result of our planting over the years. We enjoy flowering trees, bushes, shrubs, ground cover and ornamental grasses. We treasure a rose bush that came from the long-ago Hughes Greenhouses in Post Falls, the largest domestic producer of roses in the country at the time.

Seasonally, I have two large front-porch rail planters and five large watering-can planters on my oasis of a back patio, a summer living space. Every year, I’d spend an exorbitant amount of money on Mother’s Day weekend to buy quality petunia plants and other blooming annuals to fill the planters.

I’d plant, then water and deadhead all through the summer, with the reward being cheerful, bright flowers in my special places. Somewhere along the way, it stopped being enjoyable and became a chore. I still wanted the cheeriness, just not the effort to keep the planters blooming in the heat of summer or while we galavanted on getaways. I absolutely did not inherit my mother’s master gardener’s love of getting my hands in the dirt and nurturing plants.

Two years ago, I came across ads for artificial plants and flowers specifically designed for outdoor planters. They were UV-resistant and came in varieties, including trailing petunias, morning glories, bougainvillea, etc. I ordered assortments for all my porch and patio planters, and on day one, had full, colorful blooms to make my heart happy. Last fall, I removed all the faux plants and stored them in a tub in the garage.

This May, I “replanted” my blooms, and voilà, like magic, my porch and patio were awash in vibrant color. Now, as summer arrives, I will spend the time saved from watering and deadheading on reading books and floating in the pool. I’ll enjoy the bright colors of the season without a trace of guilt.

I continue to support local nurseries by purchasing shrubs, planters and gift items, but alas, my days of copious annuals are in the past.

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With Father’s Day and the summer solstice arriving this weekend, here are a couple of things to do with Dad:

Car d’Lane weekend starts with the Friday night cruise on Sherman Avenue at 6 p.m., where you can see (and hear) cool classic and vintage cars and hot rods. I love that some of these local cars and their owners cruised Sherman back in the ‘60s, when I was a teenager! The Car d’Lane car show on Sherman Avenue, Saturday from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Spirit Lake Lawn Mower Races on Father’s Day Sunday are fun for the whole family, for real. Time trials start at 11 a.m. and the races at noon on this small town’s charming Maine Street. Info: Spirit Lake Chamber 208-623-3411. Trivia: In Spirit Lake (population 2,500), the main streets are named after states and presidents.

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Happy Main Street birthdays today to Raydeane Owens, Jim Foote, Susan Reilly, Vicky Houle, Jesse Bishop, Leigh Cossette, Jennifer Smith and Dana Scholwinski. Tomorrow, Jim Hammond, Wanda McLean, Katy Meeks and Sean Watson blow out the candles. On Friday, Jim Morrison, Jake Capaul, Peggy Beebe, Jennifer Smock, Tess Schoultz, Kelly Gwinn, Doug Harwood, Mel Swatzenberg, Paul Ivie, Genia Wortman, Lauren Hoffman, Sue Shibley, Bill Cope, Twyla Cope and Joey Flood take another trip around the sun. Happy June 20 birthdays to Kristen Enders, Lynda Nutt, Daniel Davis, Sherin Diehl, Mark Appleby and Eva Jones. On Father’s Day, which is also the first day of summer and the longest daylight of the year, John Fencl, Wayne Newby, Jaymee Paul, Lynda Pym, David Wold, Shirley Bade, Randy Watkins, Kelly Rice, L.C. Schell and Stephen Larson celebrate. Joe Butler, Nathan Walker, Lynne Hamm, Camille Lang (50!), Ronda House, Jamie Johnson, Scott Shepperd, Mike Saunders, Bianca Olson and Caitlin Parmentier do the birthday dance on Monday. On June 23, Otis Fencl, Dawn Forest, Nancy Nick, Lynne Hammond, and Carly Cline whoop it up.

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Kerri Rankin Thoreson is a member of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists and a former publisher/editor with the Hagadone Newspaper division. Main Street appears every Wednesday in The Press. Kerri can be reached on Facebook or via email at [email protected].

    Faux porch and patio flowers are in “bloom.”