How to break bad habits for good

A friend of mine said his wife has the worst habit of staying up until one or two o’clock in the morning, and he can’t break her of it.

I asked him, “What is she doing all that time?”

“Waiting for me to come home.”

Bad habits are like comfortable beds — easy to get into, but hard to get out of. If you don’t master your habits, they will master you.

My friend John Maxwell got me thinking when he said: “You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.”

Most of your everyday routines are relatively comfortable, and you’re probably doing OK with them. But imagine the dreams you could realize by mixing things up to achieve what you really want.

Some studies suggest that it takes about 21 days to create a new habit or break a bad habit. However, according to a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, it can take 18 to 254 days to form a new habit. The study also concluded that, on average, it takes 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic. Breaking a habit also tends to involve a more consistent, conscious effort.

So why not start today? Ditch your bad habits and focus on building better ones. Breaking bad habits is a challenging journey, but the rewards are worth the effort. Try this approach to get started:

Identify the habit — Clearly define the habit you want to change. Understanding the specific behavior and its impact on your life is the first step toward change.

Understand the habit loop — Every habit consists of a cue, routine and reward. Identify what triggers the habit (cue), the behavior itself (routine), and what you gain from it (reward).

Recognize triggers — Pay attention to the situations or emotions that trigger the habit. Is it stress, boredom or a specific environment? Knowing your triggers can help you avoid or manage them.

Find a replacement — Instead of just trying to stop the habit, find a healthier alternative that satisfies the same need. For example, if you tend to snack when stressed, consider taking a walk or practicing deep breathing exercises.

Set clear and achievable goals — Establish specific, measurable and realistic goals. For instance, if you want to reduce screen time, set a goal like “I will limit my phone use to 30 minutes after dinner.”

Create a plan — Develop a strategy for how you’ll handle situations that trigger the habit. This might involve avoiding certain environments or having a go-to alternative activity.

Track your progress — Keep a journal or use an app to monitor your progress. Recording your successes and setbacks can provide valuable insights and motivation.

Stay patient and persistent — Breaking a habit takes time and effort. It’s normal to experience setbacks, but persistence is key. Celebrate small victories to maintain motivation.

Seek support — Share your goals with friends, family or a support group. Having accountability partners can provide encouragement and help you stay on track.

Reflect and adjust — Regularly reflect on your progress and adjust your strategies as needed. Be flexible and willing to try new approaches if something isn’t working.

Breaking bad habits requires rewiring your brain and forming new neural pathways. It involves consistent effort and a willingness to embrace discomfort as you transition to healthier behaviors.

Let me share a light-hearted story about breaking one of my bad habits. I had a notorious habit of midnight snacking. It seemed innocent enough at first Ğ just a quick nibble here and there. But soon, it became a nightly ritual that left me feeling groggy and guilty the next morning.

One night, I tiptoed to the kitchen. As I reached for the cookie jar, I accidentally knocked over a tower of pots and pans. The clatter was so loud, it could have awakened the neighbors! Standing there in the kitchen, I realized this habit was getting out of hand.

Determined to change, I decided to replace my midnight snack with a healthier routine. I started keeping a glass of water by my bed, and whenever the urge struck, I’d take a sip instead. One night, half-asleep, I reached for the “cookie jar” and ended up pouring water all over myself. 

Sometimes, the best way to break a bad habit is to make a splash — literally or figuratively. 

Mackay’s Moral: Good habits are as addictive as bad habits and a lot more rewarding.

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Harvey Mackay is the author of the New York Times bestseller “Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive.” He can be reached through his website, www.harveymackay.com, by emailing [email protected] or by writing him at MackayMitchell Envelope Co., 2100 Elm St. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414.