The Exhausted Dad: Dead dryer creates (figurative) firestorm

A household of six (plus a dog!) cannot exist without steady use of a washer and dryer.

Theoretically, we can comfortably wash at least two loads a day every single day. In reality, we don’t wash anything for six days, then try to do 47 loads on Sunday. Not the ideal schedule.

We try to consolidate. Separating whites is for people with spare time. We make a couple loads of exclusively red and pink items every month or so, but everything else runs together, color-wise.

It’s best to keep each kid load separate from each other, mostly because separating underwear becomes a touchy subject. If I ask one kid, “Is this your underwear?” I run the risk of hearing, “Why would you think I wear underwear that big?” or “Eww, those things are gross and tiny!”

I guess we also separate towels out with two types, towels for humans and towels for the dog. I don’t want to use the same towels we use on the dog after his baths. My kids wash the dog, and their attention to detail leaves much to be desired.

With a middle schooler and a high schooler now, the B.O. becomes an issue. Band uniforms and track clothes require IMMEDIATE intervention after performance day.

All this to say: We can’t live without a washer and dryer.

A few months ago, my wife did a full repair on our washer. The spinny thing wasn’t spinning, so she utilized the internet to learn how to dissect and correct the problem. I don’t have a brain for that sort of stuff, but she’s pretty handy and one of her degrees contains the word “science,” so she tends to be the repair savior in the house.

Side note: When she asked the A.I. bot about how to self-diagnose the current dryer issue with a certain error code, the bot literally told her, “maybe you can have your husband or someone handy open the console.” The A.I. is sexist! But, bright side, at least it thinks I’m a capable human and it won’t try to take siege of my house anytime soon.

Anyway, the dryer stopped working completely on Sunday. The internet says that the error code indicates an issue with the heating element. I don’t know what that means, but my wife checked and it is indeed a heating mechanism issue that costs about as much to repair as it does to just replace the whole stupid thing.

We bought this washer and dryer from an old neighbor several years ago, replacing our then-still-running previous washer and dryer (which were probably made when such appliances were first invented). Normally, as a borderline hoarder, I would want to keep such an appliance as a backup in my garage, just for these moments that occur randomly 10 years later. Sadly, we purged them at some point to make room in our garage for mountains of children’s clothes.

So, for the first time ever, my wife and I committed to buying a brand-new washer and dryer. Folks, that means another year of supplementing my income with writing Coeur d’Alene Press articles.

We even paid for the installation and haul away of the old washer.

We made the purchase on Monday, one day post-dryer breakdown. The dryer, upon breaking, contained an extremely large load of clothes (I’m sure that had nothing to do with its demise). On Sunday night, around midnight, I wandered throughout the house looking for any edge of a chair or door to hang clothes to air dry. I even pulled out a busted shoe rack from the garage (because hoarding) and used it to hang wet underwear.

I can handle one day of air drying, but I can’t turn my house into a makeshift Nordstrom Rack.

Sadly, the new washer and dryer won’t arrive until Thursday, which, as of this writing, is not right now. Suddenly it seems like I have no clean clothes to wear to work! My son is out of underwear! Where are all the socks!? No towels anywhere!

This cannot continue. Too many children. I don’t even know where to find a laundromat!

Yep, first world problems, I know. But if you’re reading this article in a print newspaper, then I can probably, comfortably, say that you probably understand. Oooh, unless the laundromat subscribes to The Press. Quick, get the circulation department on the phone with Suds R Us. I want a piece of that commission!

I must thank my 12-year-old son for sacrificing his own laundry during this turbulent time. He continues to wear the same orange shirt and sweatpants to school every day this week. What a hero. Sacrificing for his family.

OK, actually, he tries to wear the same orange shirt and sweatpants to school every day, regardless of the existence of a washer and dryer. We love you, bud, but this can’t continue into your teen years.

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Tyler Wilson is an attorney, a freelance writer and a parent to four kids, ages 8-14. He is tired. He can be reached at [email protected].

      

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