Bullying in school and the community
Tonight the Coeur d'Alene School District continues its work to eliminate bullying in all of its schools and in the community. It meets at Woodland Middle School tonight at 5:30 and all students, parents and community members are strongly encouraged to attend. The Coeur d'Alene School District has an active …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 3 MONTHS AGO
Changing with the seasons
A yellow leaf wiggles on the stem of an aspen tree in my back yard. The wind freshens and the leaf increase its movement until it flitters with excitement of the coming season. Changing from green to yellow then to brown announces the end of the growing season and the …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 6 MONTHS AGO
Teasing often has lifelong effects
Being bullied, teased, harassed or intimidated by a friend is hurtful and often has lifelong effects. Everyone has a story of being teased for having red hair, blonde hair, green hair or no hair. Harassed for being overweight, skinny, too muscular, too flabby or possibly even too normal. We often …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 6 MONTHS AGO
Canning tomatoes
Stepping out the backdoor of my house I notice a change in the landscape. The dark green leaves on my cherry tree are beginning to yellow, my zucchini plants wilting and my tomato vines heavy with fruit. A steady rain and brisk wind from the west slaps me in the …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 7 MONTHS AGO
Creating a permanent memory
Trips to Silverwood, camping in the Idaho wilderness and conquering Legos Angry Birds Star Wars, tops the list of, "Things I did on my summer vacation," stapled to the bulletin board on the walls of my school. Reading each paper I wonder, will these students remember in 20 years what …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 7 MONTHS AGO
Midlife crisis
While driving to work last night I see the most beautiful sunset. The sky is orangey-red as half the sun sinks below the pine-lined horizon. The eastern sky slowly fades from blue, purple then indigo as darkness swallows the light and day turns to night. I whisper, "Wow," as the …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 7 MONTHS AGO
Reviving the wild game feast
In a Wednesday, Aug. 21 letter to the editor in this paper, Cecil Kelly III of Coeur d'Alene writes:
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 7 MONTHS AGO
First day of school
"Banana and bubble gum please," announces Quin, my youngest granddaughter when asked what type of flavoring should top her shaved ice. I ask for grape and pink lemonade as the line behind us lengthens waiting for Rory to decide. "Grape and blueberry," Quin's big sister decides with a smile in …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 8 MONTHS AGO
Mistakes I've made
I've made many mistakes - mistakes I will remember for the rest of my life. What makes these mistakes memorable? I remember each mistake either because of the embarrassment I caused myself, someone else or the opportunities I lost from a poor choice. Mostly, I remember my mistakes today because …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 8 MONTHS AGO
A quest for clam chowder
Bacon, clams, potatoes, celery, parsley, milk and lemon juice - all are items essential for a great clam chowder. Corn starch, no thank you! Carrots: really? When I think of clam chowder I imagine a rich, roux-based thickened soup with lots of clams, soft potatoes, a hint of smoky bacon …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 8 MONTHS AGO
Focusing on giving of myself: III
Tonight my brother-in-law calls. Grilled halibut, famers market green beans with Dijon mustard and rice wine vinegar vinaigrette and a deliciously buttery chardonnay are served on the deck of my home ready to enjoy with my wife and mother and a decision has to be made. Should I enjoy the …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
Focusing on giving of myself: II
Last week I introduced the thought of psychophilanthropy - giving of oneself expecting nothing in return. This week I wish to continue the exploration of psychological giving and examine the barriers others place in the way of finding personal, emotional and cognitive happiness.
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
Focusing on giving of myself
Tonight the sun lowers over the Western prairie and I am mezmerized. Indigo, pink, purple, umber, crimson and baby blue clouds pass through the retina of my eyes filling the cones in my visual photoreceptor with amazing light. I first examine the mechanical process allowing my brain to understand the …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
The work teachers do
Recent condemnation of teachers and the public school system saddens me. I read Letters to the Editor, listen to politicians and watch the nightly news to learn that public education is failing our children. Talk radio and television commentators warn of the bottomless money pit taxpayers are asked to fill …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
Falling in love with the culinary arts, Napa Valley
"Life is food, Create and Savor Yours" the banner reads as my wife and I enter the parking lot at the Culinary Institute of America at Greystone in Saint Helena, Calif. I quickly find a parking spot, jump out of the car, breathe deeply then smile. I arrive at my …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
Moving my mom
My dad is dead. Grieving, celebrating his life, supporting mom and evaluating my own existence has consumed my life for the past nine months but today marks an end to living in the past. Today I look to the future. Today I am able to dismiss the stress and grieving …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 10 MONTHS AGO
What kids eat
"Gramps, can you make us a fancy dinner?" my 6-year-old granddaughter asks on the last day of school. Removing her backpack and flip-flops she smiles, "I love your fancy dinners." Finding it impossible to say no I ask, "How fancy do you want it?" She laughs, "Really fancy!"
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 10 MONTHS AGO
Giving to get
"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes well you just might find, you get what you need," Mick Jagger sings on the 1969 Rolling Stones album, "Let it Bleed." These lyrics continually repeat in my brain as I watch the PBS series, "Roadtrip Nation."
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 10 MONTHS AGO
Succeeding with grit
I've been told that strong fences make good neighbors. I once agreed, believing my home as my castle where I lock out all intruders, screen phone messages and turn off the television, then hide in the bedroom when unwanted guests knock on my door.
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 10 MONTHS AGO
The culinary meaning of unctuous
"Braise some leeks," the chef yells as I work the front-line at a seafood restaurant. I look at my fellow line-cook and ask, "What does braise mean?" He shrugs his shoulders, puts his head down and focuses on the New York and sirloin steaks on the broiler. Feeling too stupid …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AGO
Summer reading
I love reading the bulletin boards lining the halls of my school each fall. "What I did on my summer vacation," tops each board as teachers creatively display the writings of their new students' summer experiences with pictures of flowers, cutouts of animals and autumn leaves.
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AGO
Be kind to others
My wife is mad at you! She calls you names unbecoming of the mild-manner elementary school teacher who politely and professionally teaches 32 beautiful, innocent children every day. My wife changes persona when she leaves her school and enters a grocery store parking lot preparing to purchase our night's dinner.
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AGO
Food culture hidden in basements in Leavenworth
I am craving the Midnight Moon and a Drunken Goat with a Dirty Face and I'll drive 210 miles to satisfy this craving. Last winter I drove 889 miles to eat a snail and this summer I plan on driving 940 miles to eat at La Fleur, Hubert Keller's famously …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AGO
Technology used to cyberbully
The Internet, the World Wide Web, SMART phones, texting, the Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter all offer the opportunity for humans to be "connected" 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Is all of this connection, disconnecting us as humans?
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 11 YEARS, 12 MONTHS AGO
Protecting children from cyberbullying
A fifth-grade girl is crying on the bench at the school where I work. I sit next to her and ask what is wrong? She tearfully says, "Someone is going to kill me." I comfort her as we walk to my office in search of privacy. Once in my office …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 12 YEARS AGO
Spring gardening
I slowly crack open my left eye early Saturday morning hoping to discover bright sun streaming through my bedroom window. Unsure of the result, I raise my head to look at the alarm which reads 5:34 a.m. in blaringly bright red numbers. Too early for the sun to declare the …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 12 YEARS AGO
Children with ADHD: Part II
Determining the difference between an active child and one with Attention Deficit, Hyperactivity (ADHD) is difficult for a parent and often more difficult for doctors, teachers and psychologists. Even more daunting is the decision to medicate or not medicate a child who has been diagnosed with the disorder. Last week …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 12 YEARS AGO
Children with ADHD
Zack is rambunctious, active and full of life. At 7 years old, he often is out of his seat in his second-grade classroom, is reminded by his teacher to focus on his work and fidgets with classmates disrupting their work. At recess Zack struggles. Kids tell the teacher Zack pushed …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 12 YEARS AGO
A standby meal that satisfies everyone
"What do you want for dinner," my wife asks, testing the water for my willingness to cook the evening meal. "I don't know; what do you want for dinner," I repeat as we begin the daily dance of deciding what to eat. "I don't care, how about you?" "I don't …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 12 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
Heroes come in many forms
What makes a hero? Is a hero one who catches a touchdown pass in the Super Bowl or hits a walk-off home run in the World Series? Does a hero save lives daily or have the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound? Is a hero a billionaire …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 12 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
Remembering the life of my grandma
Grandma Fowler is the last living grandparent I have and now she is gone. My grandmother is dead. A major stroke 15 years ago whittled her mind and body into a bedridden, helpless being who finally succumbed to the will of God and left this material world for a better …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 12 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
Gardening time in July
I do not believe it happened. The weather prognosticator predicts 97 degrees and sunny for this second Sunday of July. Finally, summer has arrived. I wake early knowing the lawn needs mowing and the garden requires tending. Excited at the prospect of a warm summer day, I dress and am …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 12 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
Change the world
"I'd love to change the world, but I don't know what to do, so I'll leave it up to you," the early 1970s rock band, Ten Years After, plays on the classic rock station in my car. While singing along I wonder, do I know what to do? Should I …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 12 YEARS, 10 MONTHS AGO
Father's Day cards of years past
"Happy Father's Day Gramps," Quin giggles handing me a card she created with glitter, glue and a carefully written, "I love you," on the cover. This card is important. Her handmade gift does not represent the shallow, commercialization of a made-up Hallmark holiday. It represents the love of a little …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 12 YEARS, 10 MONTHS AGO
Reading during summer vacation
I love reading the bulletin boards lining the halls of my school each fall. "What I did on my summer vacation," tops each board as teachers creatively display the writings of their new students' summer experiences with pictures of flowers, cutouts of animals and autumn leaves. A student's first attempt …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 12 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AGO
An on and off switch for stress
Goodbye Old Man Winter and hello spring. The Earth is alive again. Plants which lay dormant and look dead weeks before are blooming, the soil is beginning to warm and my hands are dirty. Weeding, planting, building flower beds and mowing green grass calms me. Dirt under my fingernails signifies …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 12 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AGO
Kids today ... not as bad as you think
Allow me to set the stage. It's 9:53, Saturday night as I write this column deeply involved in pensive thoughtful and insightful cognition thinking of the topic, "Setting goals and methods of reaching self-actualization," in the mancave of my home. I hear a faint "Bill, Bill, Bill," coming from my …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 12 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AGO
Add bison to your backyard barbecue
Exhausted from a stressful day of work, I slowly carry my worn body toward my open-air Jeep, loosen my tie, unbutton my collar and heave my tired body into the driver's seat. Before starting the engine, I inhale deeply through my nose to gain energy for the journey home. Surprised …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 12 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AGO
Bullying comes in many forms
I stumble three steps back as the second kick hits squarely on my chest. The oxygen leaves my body with an audible heave as I gasp for air that isn't there. I feel shocked, surprised and helpless. My attacker Keith grins, preparing Bruce Lee style for another blow. I manage …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 12 YEARS, 12 MONTHS AGO
Teacher appreciation
Recent condemnation of teachers and the public school system saddens me. I read letters to the editor, listen to politicians and watch the nightly news to learn that public education is failing our children. Talk radio and television commentators warn of the bottomless money pit taxpayers are asked to fill …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS AGO
The wild life
This has been a wild year. The wildness started this spring with an unexplained tapping on my office window. The taps come at irregular and unpredictable times and stop as I investigate the cause. While working one early spring morning the tapping presented itself in the form of a robin. …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS AGO
Recalling a 4-legged friend each spring
This morning starts as most Sunday mornings, with a cup of coffee, the morning paper and CBS Sunday Morning on the television. Relaxing in my PJ's sitting in my man-chair, I finish my second cup of coffee then look out the window of my living room to take the pulse …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS AGO
What a wonderful world
"When I grow up I want to be a painter, a doctor, a princess and God," My 5-year-old granddaughter Quin tells her mother, explaining her life goals. "This child has incredible aspirations," I think out loud as my daughter giggles describing the thoughts of her little girl. Kids say the …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS AGO
The desire of dignity
Every Human desires dignity. The need to be important, belong, feel respected, useful and proud creates a natural drive in most humans to fight, advocate, protect or lie to gain or retain dignity. People often give away or have their dignity taken by people they love, work for, live or …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 1 MONTH AGO
I've been thinking
I've been thinking. Why was I created and why was I chosen to live as a human on this big blue marble we call Earth? What is the purpose of my life? How long will I live and who or what gets to decide when I die? Is my job, …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 1 MONTH AGO
Zero tolerance policies
Zero-tolerance expulsion policies in schools are seen by some as an extreme yet understandable policy response to the post-Columbine realities of today. Have zero-tolerance expulsion policies resulted in commonly agreed upon applications and outcomes or have they been morphed into unpleasant or even offensively hurtful outcomes?
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 1 MONTH AGO
Commentary: Zero tolerance policies
Zero-tolerance expulsion policies in schools are seen by some as an extreme yet understandable policy response to the post-Columbine realities of today. Have zero-tolerance expulsion policies resulted in commonly agreed upon applications and outcomes or have they been morphed into unpleasant or even offensively hurtful outcomes?
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 1 MONTH AGO
Dieting with dignity
Often I am asked, "What is the best way to lose weight?" Being a psychotherapist, educator and Executive Chef places me in a unique position to understand food and one's motivation to eat, over-eat or have an eating disorder. Being asked this question innumerable times makes me think, "I should …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 2 MONTHS AGO
Winter gardening
Gurney's, Burpee, Garden Fairy, Park Seed, Pepper Joe, Annie's Annuals, Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds, The Cook's Garden and the Willamette Valley Hop Farm catalogs begin to arrive in my mailbox this week. My soul feels warm as my body chills from the recent February snow. Seeing glossy pictures of summer …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 2 MONTHS AGO
Explosive children
When our children act out or misbehave we wonder, "Is my child normal, do other children act this way, am I a bad parent?" The answer is usually yes, your child is normal and no, you are not a bad parent. All children act out, scream, yell, misbehave and embarrass …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 2 MONTHS AGO
Cutting to feel alive
You are about to enter a therapy session with a struggling parent wondering if his child is going to kill herself (I have the parent's permission to print this session in hope of helping other families).
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 2 MONTHS AGO
Fast food
"Bill, you're not really going to eat that are you?" Carter yells as I begin to check-out at Costco. I scan my rotisserie chicken in the self-help aisle and smile as Carter approaches, "You bet I am!"
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 3 MONTHS AGO
Sport psychology
Concentrate, focus, look at the ball, check my grip, feel loose, carry the club slowly backward and stare at the number on the ball, follow-through: Concentrate - whack! My golf ball leaves the tee as my focus sharpens at the ground where the golf ball once rested. I raise my …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 3 MONTHS AGO
What kids eat
"Gramps, can you make us a fancy dinner?" my 6-year-old granddaughter asks on New Year's Eve. Removing her coat, heavy boots and gloves she smiles, "I love your fancy dinners." Finding it impossible to say no I ask, "How fancy do you want it?" She laughs, "Really fancy!"
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 3 MONTHS AGO
How to save a life II
QPR (Question, Persuade and Refer) is a suicide prevention program developed by Dr. Paul Quinnett, which offers tools to help someone in pain who is contemplating suicide. The premise of QPR is to first know the warning signs of suicide. Secondly, once one notices the warning signs, one must ask …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 3 MONTHS AGO
How to save a life
Typically this column offers anecdotal stories of my life including cute stories of my grandchildren, patients I counsel in my psychotherapy office, kids and adults I teach, struggles in my garden and successes in my kitchen. I offer information in this informal format to aid the reader to connect with …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 4 MONTHS AGO
Set SMART goals for the new year
"As this year draws to a close, I think about my living," sings John Denver in the Christmas carol, "A Baby Just Like You." I attempt my best JD imitation while singing and strumming this tune to my grandchildren on Christmas day and stop mid-lyric wondering, "What is my living?" …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 4 MONTHS AGO
Gift-giving solutions
"The season is upon us now, a time for gifts and giving," sings John Denver in his song, "A Baby Just Like You." When I hear these lyrics, I think about the meaning behind the words and realize there are many gifts that cost no money, exhibit kindness and make …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 4 MONTHS AGO
Kids eating food
"If I have to eat the whole thing I'll barf," I bark at my mother. "Just three bites and you can be excused," mom prods. I shake my head in disgust, sitting at the dining room table with my sister and brother staring at two fried oysters on my plate. …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 4 MONTHS AGO
Taking stock of 100 'thoughts'
In a few weeks I will pen my 100th column for this newspaper. This milestone suggests reflection of the road traveled. Almost two years ago I emailed Mike Patrick and asked if I might share my thoughts, ideas and vision for a better world with the readers of the Coeur …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 4 MONTHS AGO
Comfort food for the holiday season
'Tis the season to be jolly, or so they say. I don't believe I have ever been jolly but I do love the holiday season. Crisp mountain air, the smell of firewood warming cold houses, college football and turkey noodle soup made from Thanksgiving leftovers warm my soul. I'll relinquish …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 5 MONTHS AGO
Giving, accepting thanks
I remember waking up at five o'clock on Christmas morning as a 4-year-old excited to see if I made Santa's good list. Still wearing slipper-socks and pajamas unwrapped the night before; I quietly peek from my bedroom door to see my sister sitting under our Christmas tree. Waking earlier than …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 5 MONTHS AGO
A season of Thanksgiving
Gold and crimson leaves fall from birch trees as the western wind blows hard and cold on my unprotected cheeks. Autumn has arrived in North Idaho. The first snow of the season accumulates on naked tree branches as I move the outdoor furniture on my deck to the garage in …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 5 MONTHS AGO
Changing unhealthy eating habits
"Stop telling me what to do and what to eat; you don't own me," yells a 16-year-old cheerleader to her mother, trying to control her over-controlled life. "I don't care how fat I am or how I look - no one cares," the morbidly obese man mumbles to his cat …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 5 MONTHS AGO
Growing as a nation
Obesity is becoming our nation's top health-care concern physically and psychologically, with little relief in sight. According to the Centers for Disease Control, 65 percent of Americans are overweight. In the 1960s men's average weight was 166 pounds and women 140 pounds. In the early 2000s men's average weight increased …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 6 MONTHS AGO
Over committing yourself
Deep in slumber, my dream becomes vivid with Patrick Monahan, the lead singer of Train belting out his hit song, "Soul Sister" on stage at the Fox Theater. "Your lipstick stains, on the front lobe of my left side brains. I knew I wouldn't forget you. And so I let …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 6 MONTHS AGO
Midlife crisis
While driving to my office last night I see the most beautiful sunset. The sky is orangey-red as half the sun sinks below the pine-lined horizon. The eastern sky slowly fades from blue, purple then indigo as darkness swallows the light and day turns to night. I whisper an audible, …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 6 MONTHS AGO
Safety with cell phones
"Hang up the phone and drive," I scold as a black SUV stops in the middle of the road with a cellular phone firmly planted in the driver's ear. Traffic backs up behind me as I open my car door to see if the driver needs help. As I step …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 6 MONTHS AGO
Food from its source
While having dinner with friends this week, the discussion of food and consumption coming from the source becomes contentious. "Green chili stew is most delicious when eaten in Santa Fe," a member of the party offers when another disagrees, "If we had a New Mexican restaurant here, people would eat …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 7 MONTHS AGO
Parenting education
"Wake up sleepy-head," I chuckle, nudging the shoulder of the sleeping 6-year-old resting on the nurse's couch, "Your mom is here." I collect the backpack, sweater and school supplies sent to the office by the first-grader's frustrated teacher and walk the tired little girl to her waiting mom. "What time …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 7 MONTHS AGO
The wild life
This has been a wild year. The wildness started this spring with an unexplained tapping on my office window. The taps come at irregular and unpredictable times and stop as I investigate the cause. While working one early spring morning the tapping presented itself in the form of a robin. …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 7 MONTHS AGO
Celebrating Labor Day
I celebrate Labor Day by laboring. I plan to celebrate the working woman (and man) by seeing clients in my psychotherapy office, setting up the office and finishing required paperwork for the school in which I work, washing my car and preparing my lesson plans for the college classes I …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 7 MONTHS AGO
First day of kindergarten
"Banana and bubblegum please," announces Quin; my youngest granddaughter, when asked what type of flavoring should top her shaved ice. I ask for grape and pink lemonade as the line behind us lengthens waiting for Rory to decide. "Grape and blueberry," Quin's big sister decides with a smile in anticipation …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 8 MONTHS AGO
August garden
Opening my garden gate, I gingerly walk the poky mulch barefooted, inspecting the recent growth. As I walk through the garden I make mental notes of the bounty. My tomatoes, peppers, herbs, squash and berries stretch their leaves, vines and branches outside their garden beds searching for the warm August …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 8 MONTHS AGO
Words can hurt
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me - or will they? Pontificating platitudes and putdowns have the ability to injure even when benign, sarcastic or offered thoughtlessly in casual conversation. When told change is good the receiver wonders, if I don't agree with this …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 8 MONTHS AGO
The 27th year club
Is there a time in one's life when he or she so drastically changes that it feels like a rebirth, a do-over, the beginning of a new life? Can there be a directional life compass which, if set in the right direction leads to a purposeful life or if set …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 8 MONTHS AGO
Huckleberry hunting
"That is a great smell," I slowly and deliberately whisper to my wife while deeply engulfing my first whiff of huckleberry as we hike to our secret huckleberry garden. I'm not sure why I whisper. As most huckleberry pickers know, the safe and sane method of huckleberry picking is to …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
Rethinking the garden
I've been thinking. "Why am I struggling to find happiness in my happy world?" I have a kind, smart and beautiful wife, the world's coolest kid and spectacular grandchildren. My parents are still alive and love me dearly and I love the work I do in my professional life. I …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
Time to show integrity
Constant anxiety is unhealthy mentally and physically. Stress has filled my life for the past three months and left me feeling out of control. I lost faith in people I trust, was forced to change things I felt needed no change, lost one of my best friends and was disrespected …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
Goodbye my friend
Mindlessly removing soil from the Earth gives a man time to think; digging a hole is cathartic. I bury my heel into the footrest of the shovel, start to cry and dig deeper trying to determine the space needed to bury my best friend. I dig deeper and deeper, and …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
Reading during summer vacation
"What I did on my summer vacation." These seven words top the paper of millions of elementary school children throughout the United States every September. I love reading the bulletin boards lining the halls of the school in which I work each fall. Teachers creatively display the writings of their …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 10 MONTHS AGO
Mental illness is not a catch phrase
"I'm sorry I screamed at you? I have anger control issues." "I can't sit in this meeting - my ADHD is kicking in." "I hate my job - It's so depressing." "I hate when the kids mess up the house - I'm OCD." "I'm about to go mental." "I'm about …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 10 MONTHS AGO
Graduation day memories
Ninety-eight beautifully bright, funny and intelligent 11 and 12-year-olds ended their tenure as elementary school kids last Friday. These kids are important to me because I have been their school counselor for the past six years. The following is the speech I gave to this class celebrating the gift they …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 10 MONTHS AGO
Meatless meals
My wife and I are foodies. We met while working in a fine-food restaurant, plan vacations around food and eat creatively at home. I attended the Culinary Institute of America and worked in local and regional restaurants. I write about food, grow food and teach cooking classes - food is …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AGO
Science of performance
Concentrate, focus, look at the ball, check my grip, feel loose, bend knees, stare at the ball logo, carry the club slowly backward remembering to keep my head still, and whack! My golf ball leaves the tee as I focus on the ground where the ball once rested. I raise …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AGO
Treating children with ADHD
Little Billy is rambunctious, active and full of life. At 7 years old, Billy often is out of his seat in his second-grade classroom, is reminded by his teacher to focus on his work and fidgets with his classmates disrupting their work. At recess Billy struggles. Kids tell the teacher …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AGO
Grieving the loss of a loved one
My stomach knots as I read, "Sara's mom died this weekend. The secretary has a card for all to sign." My heart feels for Sara's loss. "How can I support Sara? Should I play the role of therapist, coworker or friend? What should I write on the card?" I read …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AGO
North Idaho Cuisine III
What is Idaho? Idaho is wading in the Coeur d'Alene River, water spilling into my waders as I play a 14-inch cutthroat trout, unwilling to move to higher ground in risk of losing the fish I release once landed. Idaho is cutting a cluster of elderberries from a bush in …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 13 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AGO
North Idaho Cuisine II
Food tastes better when consumed at its origin. Keeping this in mind, I search for a North Idaho traditional meal. Inland Northwest cuisine pays homage to the traditions and culture of our region. Last week I offered food indigenous to this area - food grown, produced, prepared and harvested in …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS AGO
North Idaho cuisine
Food tastes better when consumed at its origin. Keeping this in mind, I wish to prepare a traditional North Idaho meal. Consuming food where it is produced, prepared, grown and harvested changes the experience of eating that food. My wish is to create food using local products that makes one …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS AGO
Rediscovering real food
This winter I find myself in an unhealthy quick food quagmire. Life is busy and the food I eat, simple. My vegetable garden is four months from producing, as the black soil and my physical activity lay dormant from lack of solar energy. I need the sun. Canned chili, frozen …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS AGO
Does the truth really matter?
"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all," I often hear parents and teachers scold when children announce a peer's deficiency. "You're fat," a child blurts to their husky teacher as the teacher recoils then blushes in embarrassment. "Your new haircut makes your face look stupid," a …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS AGO
Simple thoughts
I am a simple man. I've heard these words recently and consider myself the poster child for simple. Some suggest I know more than I do or think more deeply than I should. This is not the case. I see what I see and observe the world as it truly …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS AGO
Working through girl aggression
This has been a tough week for many girls I work with. The seasonal change from winter to spring, the warmer weather, the larger than normal moon or possibly just fate has increased girl-on-girl aggression ten-fold. For this reason, I offer a repeat of a column I wrote last spring …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 1 MONTH AGO
Sleep: A magical potion
I have a miracle drug. This drug does not have to be ingested, has no side effects, increases mood, pumps up the immune system, makes one more alert and more productive, decreases auto accidents, strengthens personal relationships, makes you more attractive and feels great. What is this magical potion? Sleep.
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 1 MONTH AGO
Psych of pets
Molly is getting old. Thirteen years of continually jumping off docks, chasing grouse, dreaming of ducks and swimming for sticks has worn out my yellow Labrador retriever's body. Last year Molly dove off the dock at Higgens Point as she's done hundreds of times before. I knew she was slowing …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 1 MONTH AGO
Changing the way one eats
The industrial method of food production in our country is creating a widening gap between real food and mass-produced, genetically altered fake-food. The food found at the local grocer is wrapped in plastic, waxed, canned, boxed or shrink-wrapped and is chemically and genetically altered to grow faster, look identical to …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 1 MONTH AGO
My seeds arrive
My Ferrari Enzo is making a tight, hairpin turn while passing a Porsche GT2 RS at Laguna Seca. I hear ringing which enters my slumber as a warning buzzer of an impending crash. I brace for the contact, the phone rings again and my dream fades. My wife picks up …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 2 MONTHS AGO
Parent bootcamp
Mack's parents are frustrated. Mack refuses to do his homework, yells at everyone in the family, hits his little sister, trashes the house and is disrespectful to everyone he meets. Mack is a difficult child. This behavior leads Mack's parents to change their parenting style becoming more authoritative and disciplining …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 2 MONTHS AGO
Preoperational development
"When I grow up I want to be a painter, a doctor, a princess and God," my 4-year-old granddaughter Quin tells her mother explaining her life goals.
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 2 MONTHS AGO
Why do we love?
What is love? One might love a child, a wife, a song, a flower, a car - but what is real love and why does one love? Can one love and hate at the same time? Is love psychological or biological? Might one search for true monogamous love while another …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 2 MONTHS AGO
Bullying hurts everyone
I stumble three steps back as the second kick hits squarely on my chest. The oxygen leaves my body with an audible heave as I gasp for air that isn't there. I feel shocked, surprised and helpless. Keith grins preparing, Bruce Lee style, for another blow. I manage to squeak …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 3 MONTHS AGO
Fighting vitamin D deficiency, depression
I do not remember experiencing a more joyful, active winter as I am feeling this season. My mind is active, my mood lifted and I'm excited about my future. Last winter was a different story. I wrote the following column last year while in the depth of Seasonal Affective Depression. …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 3 MONTHS AGO
A counselor's role in school
I am an elementary school counselor and I love my job! School counselors make a positive difference in the lives of many children each day, preparing them - in cooperation with their parents - for a productive, nurturing, focused life. Counselors teach kids to advocate for themselves, to stand up …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 3 MONTHS AGO
Winter gardening
Gurney's, Burpee, Garden Fairy, Park Seed, Pepper Joe, Annie's Annuals, Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds, The Cook's Garden Plant and Seed and Willamette Valley Hop Farms catalogs will arrive in my mailbox in the next few weeks and my soul feels warm as my body chills. Seeing glossy pictures of summer …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 3 MONTHS AGO
Food hurts and helps
A wise Spanish proverb states, "The belly rules the mind." Our tummy controls our behavior, cognition and mood. We overeat to feed the growling beast within, refuse to eat to control parents who try to control and intake small portions while exercising to excess to become the perfect, pop-cultural misrepresentation …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 3 MONTHS AGO
Living with smart goals
"As this year draws to a close, I think about my living," sings John Denver in the Christmas carol, "A Baby Just Like You." I attempt my best JD imitation while singing and strumming this tune to my grandchildren on Christmas Day and stop mid-lyric wondering, "What is my living?" …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 4 MONTHS AGO
Christmas - a time to give
"The season is upon us now, a time for gift and giving," pines John Denver in his song, "A Baby Just Like You." When I hear these lyrics I think about the meaning behind the words and realize there are many gifts that cost no money, exhibit kindness and make …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 4 MONTHS AGO
Why do humans laugh?
Hey, wanna hear a joke? OK, here you go. A guy walks into a bar. Another guy walks into a bar. The third guy ducks.
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 4 MONTHS AGO
Offer your child quality parenting
In this season of gift giving, I offer the most important gift a parent can offer a child - quality parenting. Parents often wonder, "What am I doing wrong, why is my child disrespectful, why won't my child talk to me and what do I need to change in parenting …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 4 MONTHS AGO
Self-indulgence during the holiday season
Waking up at 3:30 on a snowy Friday morning, my daughter and I hop into the family sleigh and head to the shopping mall to watch the mayhem. Nursing self-induced stuffed bellies created from roasted turkey and pumpkin pie consumed the night before, our focus is not on food but …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 5 MONTHS AGO
The true meaning of comfort
Waking up as the sun lightens this cold, gray November morning, I reach for my heavy bathrobe in search of the morning paper. Opening the front door, I feel the chilly morning mist moisten my face - like an unexpected slap from a trusted friend. I separate the advertisements from …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 5 MONTHS AGO
Turning inside for comfort
On this cool November day I work in my yard with a feeling of melancholy. The satisfaction of completing fall tasks by turning off the in-ground sprinkler, stowing deck furniture, raking leaves and buttoning up the garden is dampened by the grayness of an autumn sky, dead flowers, leafless trees …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 5 MONTHS AGO
Comfort foods make us whole
"I love scraping out the guts," Quin giggles with her arm, shoulder deep inside a 30-pound Halloween pumpkin. "It feels gushy," she offers pulling out a handful of seeds and slime. I smile as my grandchildren laugh while creating scary, squash carvings in celebration of the changing season. Still grinning, …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 6 MONTHS AGO
Change the world
"I'd love to change the world, but I don't know what to do, so I'll leave it up to you," the early 1970s rock band, Ten Years After, plays on the classic rock station in my car. While singing along I wonder, "Do I know what to do? Should I …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 6 MONTHS AGO
Don't be so quick to use labels
Are you feeling sad because your dog, cat or hamster died? You might be diagnosed with depression. Are you unable to sleep and your mind continually "races" because you have three midterm exams to study for? You might be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Are you afraid to sleep in …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 6 MONTHS AGO
Midlife crisis
While driving to my office last night I see the most beautiful sunset. The sky is orangey-red as half the sun sinks below the pine-lined horizon. The eastern sky slowly fades from blue, purple then indigo as darkness swallows the light and day turns to night. I whisper, "Wow," as …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 6 MONTHS AGO
It's harvest time for food
Autumn in North Idaho revives one's soul. Spring and summer days filled with casually planting, weeding, mowing, mulching and trimming finally offer the bounty nurtured from seed six months ago. It's harvest time. Picking tomatoes, zucchini, pumpkins, cucumbers, onions, herbs and peppers on a crisp, dew filled fall morning create …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 7 MONTHS AGO
Kids and education
"Wake up sleepy-head," I chuckle nudging the shoulder of the sleeping 6-year-old resting on the nurse's couch, "Your mom is here." I collect the backpack; sweater and school supplies sent to the office by the first-grader's frustrated teacher and walk the tired little girl to her waiting mom. "What time …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 7 MONTHS AGO
Cooking with kids
"Look Gramps," my granddaughter smiles holding up a stem of green and slightly pink cherry tomatoes. "I picked these strawberry tomatoes for you." I chuckle at her pride in harvesting an inedible gift from my garden, I laugh because she renamed the cherry tomatoes as strawberry tomatoes, and I hide …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 7 MONTHS AGO
A time to rest helps productivity
I celebrate Labor Day by laboring. I plan to celebrate the working woman (and man) by seeing clients in my psychotherapy office, setting up my office and finishing required paperwork for the school in which I work, washing my car and preparing my lesson plans for the college classes I …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 7 MONTHS AGO
First day of kindergarten
While shaving this morning I notice my face has began to lose its summer tan. I open the gate to my garden and quickly see the maturity of the jack-be-little pumpkins, which are reaching their miniature full-size, and wonder how they will look in the autumn cornucopia my wife decorates …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 8 MONTHS AGO
Huckleberry recipes
Let's celebrate the state fruit of Idaho - the huckleberry. These purple pearls of slightly tart sweetness are gifts from God for those lucky enough to pick and enjoy them. You can find true pickers and native Idahoans by using a bit of detective work. First, look for a distinct …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 8 MONTHS AGO
Tradition, huckleberry hunting
It's huckleberry season in North Idaho and I feel alive.
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 8 MONTHS AGO
Grieving is personal, individual for each person
My stomach knots as I read, "Sara's mom died this weekend. The secretary has a card for all to sign." My heart feels for Sara's loss. How can I support her, what might she be going through, should I play the role of therapist, coworker or friend, what should I …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
Using sport psychology
Concentrate, focus, look at the ball, check my grip, feel loose, carry the club slowly backward, and stare at the number on the ball, follow-through: concentrate - whack! My golf ball leaves the tee as my focus sharpens at the ground where the golf ball once rested. I raise my …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
Sleep - a magical potion
I have a miracle drug. This drug does not have to be ingested, has no side effects, increases mood, pumps up one's immune system, makes one more alert and more productive, decreases auto accidents, strengthens personal relationships, makes one more attractive and feels great. What is this magical potion - …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
The garden bounty
While sitting on a lichen-covered rock bench in my vegetable garden I notice a large orange-breasted robin tugging at a worm. The bird releases the worm, cocks her head sideways and leaps into my strawberry patch. The war is on. "Oh no you don't," I scold the bird as I …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 9 MONTHS AGO
Food is not the enemy
"I just ate a radish and feel so fat," a 14-year-old girl shyly declares to herself as she looks into the mirror at her skinny, naked body.
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 10 MONTHS AGO
Attacking the root causes of obesity
Obesity is becoming our nation's top healthcare concern with little relief in sight.
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 10 MONTHS AGO
Counselor corner
"You're so pretty when you smile," Chloe chimes as Alexis grins, then slowly smiles cautiously as her 9-year-old face wonders the intent. "Oh, I didn't know your teeth were so yellow," states Chloe with a smirk as Alexis' grin turns upside down and tears well on her cheeks while she …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 10 MONTHS AGO
Using zero tolerance policies at school
A second grader brings a nonworking cigarette lighter shaped like a pistol to school and shows it to his friends. He tells his buddies he needs it for protection against his grandfather. The boys are excited! Three boys believe it is a real gun and ask to touch it. All …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AGO
Mental illness is no joke
"I'm sorry I screamed at you - I have anger control issues." "I can't sit in this meeting - my ADHD is kicking in." "I hate my job - it's so depressing." "I hate when the kids mess up the house - I'm OCD." "I'm about to go mental." "I'm …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AGO
Being creative with food
Last summer I found myself in an unhealthy quick food quagmire. Life became busy and the food I ate, simple. With my garden two months from producing and my physical activity increasing, canned chili, frozen corn dogs, heat and serve pizza and an occasional blackened salmon Caesar became my diet. …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AGO
Food hurts and helps
A wise Spanish proverb states, "The belly rules the mind." Our tummy controls our behavior, cognition and mood. We overeat to feed the growling beast within, refuse to eat to control parents who try to control and intake small portions while exercising to excess to become the perfect pop cultural …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 14 YEARS, 12 MONTHS AGO
What is love?
I believe I know what love is. I've been deeply and passionately in love with my beautiful wife of 28 years and playfully loving and nurturing to my daughter for a quarter century. I worship every smile, giggle and tear of my two grandchildren and unconditionally love the two heroes …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 15 YEARS AGO
Feeling the stress of divorce
A child asked this week if I thought she was a bad kid. I looked at her with surprise and asked, "What makes you ask such a question? I think you're a wonderful kid." The child, looking down at her feet cried quietly, "I think my mom and dad are …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 15 YEARS AGO
Practice good choice parenting
Disciplining a child is difficult when a parent is frustrated, money is tight, the kids are late for soccer practice and the dog just soiled the rug. When one is frustrated, aggravated and overwhelmed it is important to focus on the reason one is disciplining a child - to change …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 15 YEARS AGO
Kids and food
Stay at the table until you've finished all of your dinner," mom says calmly to a chorus of whines and groans from my brother, sister and me. Staring down at the plate of liver and onions I question how I will survive this ordeal in time for school the following …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 15 YEARS AGO
Why did she cut herself?
You are about to enter a therapy session with a struggling parent wondering if his child is going to kill herself (I have the parent's permission to print this session in hope of helping other families).
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 15 YEARS, 1 MONTH AGO
Food is killing us
The industrial method of food product in our country is creating a widening gap between real food and mass produced genetically altered fake food. The food found at the local grocer is wrapped in plastic, waxed, canned, boxed, or shrink-wrapped and is chemically and genetically altered to grow faster, look …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 15 YEARS, 1 MONTH AGO
Blood test changed my life
It's winter in North Idaho and I'm depressed. I don't remember being depressed in winters past. I love winter - snowy Christmas mornings, snowshoeing Fourth of July Pass, harvesting our Christmas tree from Fernan Saddle, cooking rich tomato soup from canned vegetables harvested from my summer garden, jeeping in the …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 15 YEARS, 1 MONTH AGO
Pick your battles, parents
Parenting is no accident. To become an effective parent one must be in control of their emotions and composure.
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 15 YEARS, 2 MONTHS AGO
Why is your child exploding?
When our children act out or misbehave, we ask, "Is my child normal; do other children act this way; am I a bad parent?" Yes, your child is normal and no, you are not a bad parent! All children act out, scream, yell, misbehave and embarrass their parents. It's their …
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 15 YEARS, 2 MONTHS AGO
Food for Thought
Welcome to "Food for Thought," an exploration into the world of psychology, food and education. I am an educator, psychotherapist, and executive chef. Interesting career path one might say? Let's examine the journey.
COEUR D'ALENE PRESS | UPDATED 15 YEARS, 2 MONTHS AGO
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